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paroles:toysdolls [2014/04/30 15:51] (Version actuelle)
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 +====== Paroles ======
 +===== The Toys Dolls =====
 +==== BLAZE OF THE BOROUGH ====
  
 +Jimmy'​s running short o' cash,
 +the bar takings have took a crash
 +Jimmy can't think what to do,
 +the bills in from the local breweryyyy Oi!
 +
 +Jim's a nutcase round the twist,
 +Jimmy is an arsenist
 +Jimmy thinks nowt of the cost & sets
 +alight to his own hosterlryyyyy
 +
 +Flames grow high,
 +in the blaze of the borough Jimmy fried.
 +In the blaze of the borough,
 +the blaze of the borough
 +hey!
 +
 +Windows cracked & bottles broke,
 +the bar & lounge were full o' smoke
 +Things would soon look bright n' sunny when
 +Jim claims the insurance money back Oi!
 +Jimmy'​s a crackpot, he forgot,
 +he was trapped inside, the clot
 +A ring of flames with Jimmy in the middle,
 +he'd cocked up his insurance fiddleoo
 +
 +Flames grow high,
 +in the blaze of the borough Jimmy fried.
 +In the blaze of the borough,
 +the blaze of the borough
 +hey!
 +
 +Flames grow high, flames grow high,
 +in the borough ohhhhh Jimmy fried.
 +Oh yes he fried,nin the borough ohhhhh
 +
 +
 +==== A BUNCH O'​FAIRIES ====
 +
 +Kick his head, smash his face & do a bunk with his brief case
 +Shoplifting for a lark, walk on the grass in the park
 +In the restaurant loads o' nosh, stuff yer face & leave no dosh
 +We are skint but we're alright, a different burglary each night
 +
 +No little blue light, there'​s not a copper in sight no more..
 +
 +You can commit any crime you please
 +You won't get nicked in sunderland, the coppers are softies
 +They hide when there'​s a thief or rogue at large
 +When they get hit they run & tell the sarge... a bunch o' fairies
 +
 +Rob a bank, get some bread or be a pickpocket instead
 +A torch a swag bag with a crow bar, gettaway in a stolen car
 +Break in to the town hall, spray graffiti on the wall
 +If you're drunk and disorderly, then Sunderland'​s the place to be
 +
 +You won't get me, down werside contabulary
 +
 +You can commit any crime you please
 +You won't get nicked in sunderland, the coppers are softies
 +They hide when there'​s a thief or rogue at large
 +When they get hit they run & tell the sarge... a bunch o' fairies
 +
 +Run Buck naked in the street, there ain't a bobby on the beat
 +Raid the local jewellery store, no one to stop you break the law
 +
 +The bobby'​s get sore, but there'​s no constables round here no more
 +
 +You can commit any crime you please
 +You won't get nicked in sunderland, the coppers are softies
 +They hide when there'​s a thief or rogue at large
 +When they get hit they run & tell the sarge... a bunch o' fairies
 +
 +
 +==== A. DIAMOND ​ ====
 +Good morning Britain.....
 +Nobody can believe what the sun's gonna be.....
 +A married chap....
 +been having it off with Annie now Annie'​s feeling crap..
 +cause Annie'​s been left in the craaaa
 +She doesn'​t care...
 +cause Annie'​s been putting herself about everywhere
 +We all agree... Annie is a scrubber get her of the T.V.
 +
 +Russel Grant and Jimmy Grieves and Gorden Honycombe
 +Nick Kelly they all agree send Annie back home...
 +
 +Annie, Annie, get the dodgy boiler off the T.V.
 +Annie, Annie, now we're not fond of Annie Diamond
 +get her off, get her off.... of the T.V.
 +
 +We're really sick....
 +Annie was a canny lass and now she's up the stick
 +We couldn'​t tell....
 +but now we can we know that Annie'​s a dirty Jezabel
 +
 +Russel Grant and Jimmy Grieves....
 +
 +Annie, Annie, get the dodgy boiler off the T.V.
 +Annie, Annie, now we're not fond of Annie Diamond
 +get her off, get her off.... of the T.V.
 +
 +She used to have a thousand fans that really used to spoil her
 +until they found out that Anne's a dodgy boiler...
 +
 +Annie, Annie, get the dodgy boiler off the T.V.
 +Annie, Annie, now we're not fond of Annie Diamond
 +get her off, get her off.... of the T.V.
 +
 +
 +==== ALECS GONE ====
 +
 +Out in the courtyard, cold & it's so hard
 +Now Betty'​s crying, she wants to die
 +Coz it's over, die, but she...
 +
 +Knows that her grieving, it's not achieving
 +What Bet's believing, he will return
 +
 +Alecs gone (x6)
 +
 +Away oo oo oo gone away oo oo ooo
 +
 +Down in The Rovers, Bet can't get over
 +What he said to her, he will return
 +
 +Alecs gone...
 +He's gone, done a bunk
 +
 +Betty'​s still dreaming, inside she's screaming
 +Out for the day that he will return
 +
 +Alecs gone...
 +
 +
 +==== ANY DREAM WILL DO ====
 +
 +I closed my eyes, drew back the curtain
 +To see for certain, what I thought I knew
 +Far far away, someone was weeping
 +But the world was sleeping, any dream will do
 +
 +I wore my coat, with golden lining
 +Bright colours shinning, wonderful & new
 +And in the East, the dawn was breaking
 +The world was waking, any dream will do
 +
 +A crash of drums, a flash of light
 +My golden coat flew outta sight
 +The colours faded into darkness, I was left alone
 +
 +May I return, to the beginning
 +The light is dimming, and the dream is too
 +The world & I, we are still waiting
 +Still hhhhesitating,​ any dream will do
 +
 +A crash...The world & I...
 +
 +
 +==== BACK IN '79 ====
 +
 +Just like we had ffffeared, the mates we had have all dissapeared
 +Nicky, Flip, Paul, Fat Bob and Ted, they all done a bunk & all got wed
 +Out with the lads for a laugh and a beer, those days are no longer 'ere
 +With a lump in yer throat & a shiver down yer spine
 +
 +They'​re the memories of 1979
 +
 +Wooooooooooo that's where we wanna be 1979 (x2)
 +
 +Flip a punk sssuddenly aged, he sold his leather jacket just to get engaged
 +Bobby was a skinhead, but Bobby'​s hair grew, all for a bird who made him bbblue
 +We never thought we'de see the day, Teddy with a Mrs in the family way
 +Oh what went wrong? things were just fine,
 +
 +So take me back to 1979
 +
 +Wooooooooooo that's where we wanna be 1979 (x2)
 +
 +Freddie was a free bloke fffull o' life, now Freddie is a bag o' misery with a 
 +wife
 +Everynight George hit the town, by 8'o clock now he's in his dressing gown
 +They ain't the lads we knew before, you don't see them down the pub no more
 +They'​re discontented mates o' mine who wanna be back in 1979.
 +
 +
 +==== BARE FACED CHEEK ====
 +
 +You got me outa my head
 +coz I'm not h, h, h, hunky
 +you're driving me insane
 +coz I'm not f, f, funky
 +well it's a bare faced cheek
 +calling me a skinny freak
 +it's a bare faced cheek
 +you say I'm a skinny punk
 +and you call me a cheeky monkey.
 +
 +
 +==== BITTEN BY A BED BUG! ====
 +
 +Was it something that I spilt on my new continental quilt or what?
 +Could it have been a bad dream that creptin bed & made me scream or what?
 +What attracted such a beast, why did it want to make a feast of me?..
 +
 +Bug bug a bug a bed bug
 +A bug a bug a bug a bug bugger than a bumble bee
 +Bug bug a bug a bed bug
 +A bug a bug a bug a bug a bug a bug a bug bit me!
 +In a night of misery.
 +
 +Was it coz the chocolate sweets I ate last night between the sheets or what?
 +What could it be that made me frown, the biscuit crumbs on my night gown or 
 +what?
 +A nit in neen of nourishment,​ it got inside the bed & went for me.
 +
 +Bug bug a bug a bed bug
 +A bug a bug a bug a bug bugger than a bumble bee
 +Bug bug a bug a bed bug
 +A bug a bug a bug a bug a bug a bug a bug bit me!
 +In a night of misery.
 +
 +Was it coz I was dirty that it took a fancy to me or what?
 +I jumped up sweating with fright, oh will it take another bite or what?
 +I felt the fangs rip thru my vest, the mattress monster was digesting me!
 +
 +Bug bug a bug a bed bug
 +A bug a bug a bug a bug bugger than a bumble bee
 +Bug bug a bug a bed bug
 +A bug a bug a bug a bug a bug a bug a bug bit me!
 +In a night of misery.
 +
 +
 +==== BLESS YOU MY SON ====
 +
 +You tell me, I'm not good e
 +nough for you, what can I do?
 +shiddle iddle ay shiddle iddle oh,
 +I got so sick I told a Vic
 +ar her dad, I must be mad,
 +shiddle iddle ay shiddle iddle oh...
 +
 +He just said don't worry your head
 +there'​ll be another girl instead
 +trust in God the father and the son
 +get out of her life and Bless you my soon...
 +
 +You always said you wanted a stead
 +y boyfriend, now don't pretend
 +shiddle iddle ay shiddle iddle oh,
 +I took the path up to the Cath
 +edral where, he stood there,
 +shiddle iddle ay shiddle iddle oh...
 +
 +He just said don't worry your head
 +there'​ll be another girl instead
 +trust in God the father and the son
 +get out of her life and Bless you my soon...
 +
 +I ever thought, that I would be court
 +ing with you, but it's true
 +shiddle iddle ay shiddle iddle oh,
 +but it went bad because her dad
 +he saw me with her you see,
 +shiddle iddle ay shiddle iddle oh,
 +
 +He just said don't worry your head
 +there'​ll be another girl instead
 +trust in God the father and the son
 +get out of her life and Bless you my soon...
 +
 +
 +==== BLUE SUEDE SHOES ====
 +
 +Well it's one for the money, two for the show,
 +Three to get ready now go cat go,
 +But don't you step on my blue suede shoes,
 +You can do anything but keep off my blue suede shoes.
 +
 +
 +==== CAROL DODDS IS PREGNANT ====
 +
 +Carol Dodds ahooo is a girl,
 +she was always happ
 +ee but now it's crap for her she's met Keith,
 +Carol Dodds ahooo'​s in a whirl,
 +she thinks Keith is good,
 +but I knew he would leave herrrrrrrrr
 +
 +She is getting fat her belly'​s got a lump in it,
 +Keith must have done that, you never see him now,
 +poor Carol does beg Keith back coz she's preg
 +nant Carol Dodds is preeeeeeegnant...
 +
 +Carol Dodds ahoo's getting sick,
 +she does want Keith much,
 +even just to touch him would make her feel good,
 +Carol Dodds ahoo needs love quick,
 +she just wants to be,
 +next to Keith you see to satisfy herrrrrrrrr...
 +
 +She is getting fat her belly'​s got a lump in it,
 +Keith must have done that, you never see him now,
 +poor Carol does beg Keith back coz she's preg
 +nant Carol Dodds is preeeeeeegnant...
 +
 +Carol Dodds ahoo misses Keith,
 +she's finding it tough,
 +though Keith is a scruff she loves him madly,
 +Carol Dodds ahoo's lost belief,
 +she told him she's pregnant,
 +but Keith just went frant, ic he upt and left herrrrrr
 +
 +She is getting fat her belly'​s got a lump in it,
 +Keith must have done that, you never see him now,
 +poor Carol does beg Keith back coz she's preg
 +nant Carol Dodds is preeeeeeegnant...
 +
 +
 +==== CAUGHT UP THE REEPERBAHN ====
 +
 +I was feeling blue, she made me feel guilty
 +When I took that trip to Deutscheland,​ Germany
 +She said I am a man, keep out of the Reeperbahn, mind you
 +
 +Nick off is what I said, I'll please myself instead
 +& you can drop down dead, to Hamburg I am headed
 +I don't want no debates, now I'm off with me mates.
 +Toodle oo
 +I said stuff you!
 +
 +Reeperbahn, the Reeperbahn, caught red handed...
 +Reeperbahn, the Reeperbahn, she said "​Don'​t go there man"
 +Reeperbahn, the Reeperbahn, oh caught up the Reeperbahn
 +
 +I told her to trust me, I agree in honesty
 +Believe me she did not, she knew I was a sex pot
 +I did not feel at ease when I left the strip-tease,​
 +I screamed as she seized me!
 +
 +Reeperbahn, the Reeperbahn, caught red handed...
 +Reeperbahn, the Reeperbahn, she said "​Don'​t go there man"
 +Reeperbahn, the Reeperbahn, oh caught up the Reeperbahn
 +
 +It was just a laugh, I said don't be so strict
 +I did not tell her what went on up the red light district
 +You're all the same you men, you better say auf wiedersehen
 +Coz you won't be comin" here again!
 +
 +Reeperbahn, the Reeperbahn, caught red handed...
 +Reeperbahn, the Reeperbahn, she said "​Don'​t go there man"
 +Reeperbahn, the Reeperbahn, oh caught up the Reeperbahn
 +
 +Caught up the Ree...
 +perbahn.
 +
 +==== COME BACK JACKIE ====
 +
 +Old Jackie'​s gone to sea,
 +Jackie'​s gone oh Jackie'​s gone to sea,
 +where will he be? when will we see?
 +Old Jackie at home on land from sea...
 +
 +A secret mission he's been on
 +he's not been fishin'​ like they all say,
 +it's all hush hush
 +don't make a fuss,
 +and they all rush to say...
 +
 +Jackie'​s been on a holiday a million miles away,
 +Jackie'​s back, we hope that Jackie stays,
 +We won't know when Jackie goes,
 +and he won't hear us say,
 +come back Jackie, come back Jackie ooh today...
 +
 +Since Jackie went to sea
 +they'​ve heard nothing since he went to sea,
 +where'​s Jackie, where can he be?
 +no one knows where old Jackie can be...
 +
 +
 +==== CHEERIO & TOODLE PIP ====
 +Who's a pretty boy then?
 +Your girlfriend says when she's got you wearing a tie
 +You're looking like a puff and you think I've had enough
 +Stop and take a look at yourself for a while
 +And you'll know it's time to say
 +
 +Cheerio, cheerio
 +Toodle pip, toodle pip
 +This is our last goodbye
 +Don't cry
 +Cheerio, cheerio
 +Toodle pip, toodle pip
 +Our last farewell, goodbye.
 +
 +Sitting watching Coronation street
 +You decide to put your feet up, just about comfy in your seat
 +And she says, I'm feeling hungry
 +If she sends you out for a bag of fish'​n'​chips
 +You'll know it is time to say...
 +
 +Cheerio, cheerio
 +Toodle pip, toodle pip
 +This is our last goodbye
 +Don't cry
 +Cheerio, cheerio
 +Toodle pip, toodle pip
 +Our last farewell, goodbye.
 +
 +Need a bit of shut eye so you lie on the couch
 +She is yapping in the background
 +Baby's things wedding rings
 +It's not for you, she will never keep her mouth shut
 +You have to tell her now, once and for all
 +Coz now it's time to say...
 +
 +Cheerio, cheerio
 +Toodle pip, toodle pip
 +This is our last goodbye
 +Don't cry
 +Cheerio, cheerio
 +Toodle pip, toodle pip
 +Our last farewell, goodbye.
 +
 +
 +==== CLOUGHY IS A BOOTBOY! ====
 +
 +Cloughy'​s lads are full o' gloom, coz Cloughy'​s in the changin'​ room
 +Why can't he nick off & leave them be?
 +He screams & yells & just because, Cloughy knows that he's the boss
 +Cloughy'​s rough & tough Cloughy'​s barmy
 +
 +Cloughy'​s in a huff & tense, Cloughy'​s teeth begin to clench
 +A Cloughy fan asks for his autograph... "Can yer sign this Brian?"​
 +He nuts him first & smacks him next, nobody makes Cloughy vexed
 +Cloughy is the chief Cloughy'​s the Gaffa
 +
 +Cloughy is a football hooligan, now Cloughy'​s only at his prime
 +with his fist in yer nose when the referee blows full time
 +
 +Brian Brian kicks & slaps & he shouts oi!
 +Brian Brian Cloughy is a bootboy
 +
 +The judge tells Cloughy to keep calm, he's up for Grevous Bodily Harm
 +Cloughy stands and begins to YELL
 +Cloughy must have a screw loose coz Cloughy says he's gonna cruc..
 +ify the cops when he gets out the cell
 +
 +CLOUGHY IS A FOOTBALL HOOLIGAN...(x2)
 +
 +Brian Brian kicks & slaps & he shouts oi!
 +Brian Brian Cloughy is a bootboy
 +
 +He kicks & slaps, he thumps & cracks,
 +he nuts & smacks and shouts Oi!
 +
 +
 +==== DAVEY'​S TOOK THE PLUNGE ====
 +
 +Davey'​s life has changed dramatically,​ now
 +We warned him but the daft puff couldn'​t see
 +Jack the Lad, but he's lost his credibility now
 +He's took the plunge now he lives in misery
 +
 +DAVEYYYYYYYYY...
 +Had no choice when the vicar'​s voice put him on the spot
 +DAVEYYYYYYYYY...
 +Davey'​s got hitched, Davey'​s been stitched up, Dave's a clot
 +
 +Davey'​s not the Davey that I knew, now
 +He stays at home with the Mrs, & he never goes out
 +Davey does what she tells him to do, now
 +SHE'S A BAG that nags, it's about time he gave her a clout
 +
 +DAVEYYYYYYYYY...
 +Had no choice when the vicar'​s voice put him on the spot
 +DAVEYYYYYYYYY...
 +Davey'​s got hitched, Davey'​s been stitched up, Dave's a clot
 +
 +Davey'​s anniversary is due now
 +His face is as long as the river Nile
 +Davey will not admit that it's true, now
 +He's been cheesed off since he walked up the aisle
 +
 +DAVEYYYYYYYYY...
 +Had no choice when the vicar'​s voice put him on the spot
 +DAVEYYYYYYYYY...
 +Davey'​s got hitched, Davey'​s been stitched up, Dave's a clot
 +
 +
 +==== DAVID'​S XR2 ====
 +
 +"David Man, yer hav'​n'​t finished yer tea"
 +"It doesn'​t matter, I can't wait to drive my XR2"
 +"Oh David, don't drive fast David"
 +"See ya!"
 +"​David,​ David...DAVID!"​
 +
 +I don't wanna be alive, if I ain't on the road
 +Wheels off the ground the speed o'​sound,​ stuff the Highway Code
 +
 +Electric windows down, sound system, size ten
 +What a prat they say "That boys racers back again"
 +
 +The engine soared as he got fasta
 +He bought a Ford Fiesta
 +He can't wait to accelerate
 +In his jet car, X R...2
 +
 +I never leave my XR2, of that there ain't no fear
 +The only time, is when I'm watching Top Gear
 +
 +40 fog lamps on the front, twin spoilers, I agree
 +The meanest man on the Autobahn, nobody gets past me
 +
 +The engine soared as he got fasta
 +He bought a Ford Fiesta
 +Upside down, the wheels spun round
 +On his jet car, XR...2
 +
 +"​He'​s driving me MAAAAAAAD"​
 +
 +
 +==== DEIDRIE'​S A SLAG ====
 +First of all there was Ray
 +he went with Deidrie yeh Ray
 +thought that he was the bee's knee
 +but now he's left her and she's pleased
 +and just incase you meet
 +Deidrie down Coronation Street
 +she's a slag.
 +
 +everybody sing... Deidrie'​s a slag
 +slag slag slag
 +Deidrie'​s a slag
 +big ugly slag
 +yeh Deidrie'​s a slag.
 +
 +Mike Baldwin came like a flash
 +he had a Jag U ar and cash
 +Ken saw them at the flicks that night
 +neckin on he squeezed her tight
 +and just in case you meet
 +Deidrie down Coronation Street
 +she's a slag...
 +
 +everybody sing... Deidrie'​s a slag
 +slag slag slag
 +Deidrie'​s a slag
 +big ugly slag
 +yeh Deidrie'​s a slag.
 +
 +Ken was next said I love you
 +why all the o-ther blokes too
 +Deidrie said what's it got to do with you
 +it's up to me what I do
 +and just in case you meet
 +Deidrie down Coronation Street
 +she's a slag...
 +
 +everybody sing... Deidrie'​s a slag
 +slag slag slag
 +Deidrie'​s a slag
 +big ugly slag
 +yeh Deidrie'​s a slag.
 +
 +
 +==== DEZ THE DEMON DECORATOR ====
 +
 +Brighten up you home, it said in the advert
 +All your decorating done by an expert
 +How the hell was I to know he's such a dirty sod
 +I wanted subtle shades, maybe something duller
 +There'​s paint on the chairs & the dogs a different colour
 +I'm the only bloke I know that does have a day-glo scullery...
 +
 +Dez the demon...never coming back, he's never coming back ooeee
 +Dez the demon...never get a cheque, he'll never get a cheque from me
 +Dez the demon decorator
 +
 +He split a tin o'​gloss coz he's a clumsy swine
 +"​I'​ll paint the carpet pink, I've got no turpentine"​
 +Pink footprints everywhere reminding me
 +The neighbours came for tea & they began to frown
 +The wallpaper was cock-eyed, flowers upside down
 +What the flippen 'ecks that decorating clown done now...
 +
 +Dez the demon...never coming back, he's never coming back ooeee
 +Dez the demon...never get a cheque, he'll never get a cheque from me
 +Dez the demon decorator
 +
 +Dez the demons deed is done, my house is an eye-sore
 +Bumps & Lumps in the wallpaper, paint splashed on the floor
 +I won't be calling Dez the demon, won't be calling Dez the demon
 +I won't be calling Dez the demon decorator anymore...
 +
 +Dez the demon...never coming back, he's never coming back ooeee
 +Dez the demon...never get a cheque, he'll never get a cheque from me
 +Dez the demon decorator
 +Dez the demon decorator, tor
 +
 +
 +==== DIG THAT GROOVE BABY ====
 +
 +Friday night is bath night this is what they say
 +We are gonna dig the groove, we've waited all day
 +We wear trendy trousers with belts a mile too long
 +We are gonna catch the bus into the town
 +We are boogie on down...
 +
 +Dig that groove ba-a-by (repeat)
 +Dig dig dig dig digga that groove baby.
 +
 +There they are again covered in Old Spice
 +They think they will get the girls cause
 +they smell nice,
 +They all call me riff raff
 +'Coz I wear a Crombie
 +I couldn'​t stand it being just like them
 +they all look like puffs not men
 +
 +Dig that groove ba-a-by (repeat)
 +Dig dig dig dig digga that groove baby.
 +
 +See that trendy there she used to be a punk
 +Now she's off to the disco to listen to junk
 +Her boyfriend was a skinhead
 +He used to shout Oi! Oi!
 +Play that funky music that's what they say now
 +Come with me and I'll show you how...
 +
 +Dig that groove ba-a-by (repeat)
 +Dig dig dig dig digga that groove baby.
 +
 +
 +==== DO YOU WANNA BE LIKE DOUGY BELL? ====
 +
 +Ran over by a bus up the high street
 +Dougy only feels a tickle in his feet
 +the driver shouts Oi! are you alright
 +but Dougy'​s on his way
 +Dougy then has a little mishap
 +when a geezer comes along and gives him a slap,
 +Dougy said it's wise that you apologize
 +or else you'll face D D D Dougy
 +
 +Beware, beware, beware, beware,
 +never never mess with Dougy Bell
 +beware beware beware beware
 +never never mess with him
 +D you, d you, d you, do you wanna be like Dougy
 +or d you, d you, d you, d you wanna be like me
 +I wanna wanna wanna be like Dougy.
 +
 +Dougy'​s getting sick of burglaries
 +he's changed all the locks
 +and he's bought new keys
 +he's gonna get the robber no matter what it takes
 +he's gonna die
 +Dougy sits waiting with a hammer on his bed
 +some dirty rougues gonna get a sore head
 +fifteen vilains or maybe even more
 +ran when they saw D D D Dougy
 +
 +Beware, beware, beware, beware,
 +never never mess with Dougy Bell
 +beware beware beware beware
 +never never mess with him
 +D you, d you, d you, do you wanna be like Dougy
 +or d you, d you, d you, d you wanna be like me
 +I wanna wanna wanna be like Dougy.
 +
 +Oh Dougy'​s in the backroom playing pool,
 +He's lost five quid but he keeps his cool,
 +dougy is a winner, he'll not be beat,
 +So the game goes on.
 +Dougy!
 +Half an hour later when the poolroom'​s in a wreck
 +the opposition tries to stick something down his neck,
 +He began the cry cause he was gonna die
 +Cause he fooled whith da da da da dougy.
 +
 +Beware, beware, beware, beware,
 +never never mess with Dougy Bell
 +beware beware beware beware
 +never never mess with him
 +D you, d you, d you, do you wanna be like Dougy
 +or d you, d you, d you, d you wanna be like me
 +I wanna wanna wanna be like Dougy.
 +
 +
 +==== DO YOU WANT TO FINISH OR WHAT? ====
 +
 +If you're down and you're sick,
 +and you want her out quick,
 +but you don't know the trick what to do,
 +she'll be laughing at you,
 +if you don't have a clue
 +show that you have grew up and shout...
 +we are thru and say...
 +
 +DO YOU want to finish OR WHAT?,
 +I've just about had MY LOT,
 +I can't take this from you,
 +I'M FED up now because she said,
 +I don't know what to do...
 +
 +You've got to be a man,
 +kick her out while you can,
 +get a re-moval van booked for her,
 +tell her to take her stuff,
 +it's time now to be tough,
 +you've had about enough
 +and don't want to suffer any more,
 +
 +DO YOU want to finish OR WHAT?,
 +I've just about had MY LOT,
 +I can't take this from you,
 +I'M FED up now because she said,
 +I don't know what to do...
 +
 +A fortnight is long ee
 +nough for her to agree,
 +to decide just what she wants to do,
 +if by then she does not
 +you've got to start n plot,
 +just where when to do and what,
 +how you're gonna get shot of her...
 +
 +DO YOU want to finish OR WHAT?,
 +I've just about had MY LOT,
 +I can't take this from you,
 +I'M FED up now because she said,
 +I don't know what to do...
 +
 +
 +==== DOUGY GIRO ====
 +
 +You can guess whatlife for Dougy
 +is like, he wakes up in the street,
 +No home, no bed, he says he's lucky,
 +That he can smile and be happy...
 +
 +Dougy, Dougy, Giro (x2)
 +
 +People say that he's not worthy
 +of clothes, that shows that they don't care,
 +But he does not let this get him down,
 +That is how Dougy stays alive...
 +
 +Dougy, Dougy, Giro (x2)
 +
 +Dougy'​s inside a bus shelter,
 +It's raining and a sight to see,
 +Dougy smiles he's seen a rainbow,
 +Every.. where'​s bright, and so is he...
 +
 +Dougy, Dougy, Giro (x2)
 +
 +
 +==== ERNIE HAD A HERNIA ====
 +
 +Too much nosh & too much booze
 +He spent all night in the bog with the blues
 +An aching head, intoxicated
 +He didn't even know he was constipated
 +
 +He forced & he frowned, he pushed & he stained
 +But on the toilet seat he remained
 +He let out a shout as he passed out
 +& his gut was rearranged
 +
 +No walks in the park, no drinks, no grub
 +He can't embark on a trip to the pub
 +He sits in the dark, and says don't trouble me
 +
 +No one sees he's a ruptured man
 +He can't sneeze like you normally can
 +They'​re all mean, they'​re all riff raff
 +He turns green when they make him laugh
 +Ernie had a. Ernie had a...
 +Hernia, a hernie
 +Ernie had a. Ernie had a...
 +Hernia, a hernie...
 +He had a hernia
 +
 +He can't stand up, her can't lie flat
 +The torment in his tummy preventing that
 +He can't sit down, can't go anywhere
 +The devil in his belly proving too much to bear
 +
 +He can't go out & he can't stay in
 +Oh what's it all about? He just can't win
 +No chance of a bath or to see the lavatory for him
 +
 +Ernie had a. Ernie had a...
 +Hernia, a hernie
 +Ernie had a. Ernie had a...
 +Hernia, a hernie...
 +He had a hernia
 +
 +Ernie never smiles & he dare not grin
 +An aggravating abdomen wearing him thin
 +Ernie had a hernia but he did not give in
 +
 +Ernie had a. Ernie had a...
 +Hernia, a hernie
 +Ernie had a. Ernie had a...
 +Hernia, a hernie...
 +He had a hernia
 +
 +He had a hernia
 +
 +
 +==== EVERYBODY JITTERBUG ====
 +
 +Ooh you won't ever see me without a smiling face
 +diddle iddle I do that's coz I go
 +Jitterbug, jitterbug, jitterbuggin,​
 +ooh if you're feelin lonely or you're feelin blue
 +just come with me I'll show you what to do...
 +
 +Everybody shout HEY! everybody sing HEY!
 +we're all goin jitterbuggin,​
 +everybody jitterbug.
 +
 +Looking out the window baby's gone away
 +don't be upset it's not the end
 +Jitterbug, jitterbug, jitterbuggin
 +if you want to jitter-bug then good for you
 +just come with me I'll show you what to do...
 +
 +Everybody shout HEY! everybody sing HEY!
 +we're all goin jitterbuggin,​
 +everybody jitterbug.
 +
 +Jitterbuggin meril-y all night and day
 +always laughin, laugh laugh laughin
 +jitterbug, jitterbug, jitterbuggin
 +if you're feelin gloomy, tired or got the flu
 +come with me I'll show you what to do...
 +
 +Everybody shout HEY! everybody sing HEY!
 +we're all goin jitterbuggin,​
 +everybody jitterbug.
 +
 +
 +==== FAT BOB'S FEET ====
 +
 +Fat Bob does not wash or scrub
 +He's never seen a bath tub before
 +When will Fat Bob use the sink?
 +We can't face the Fat Bob stink no more!
 +
 +A killer pong on a gateshead street
 +50 drop deady... Bobby Bobby
 +Quick quick quick it's Fat Bob's feet
 +There'​s nowt more deadly.
 +
 +Fat Bob's not cleaned his socks yet
 +He's not been to the launderette before
 +Spray Fat Bob's feet with fungicide
 +He's wiped out two thirds of tyneside or more
 +
 +A killer pong on a gateshead street
 +50 drop deady... Bobby Bobby
 +Quick quick quick it's Fat Bob's feet
 +There'​s nowt more deadly.
 +
 +Tyne & Wear have got the blues
 +The end is nigh on the Look North news
 +Fat Bob's taken off his shooooooes
 +
 +A killer pong on a gateshead street
 +50 drop deady... Bobby Bobby
 +Quick quick quick it's Fat Bob's feet
 +There'​s nowt more deadly.
 +
 +It only takes one wiff.
 +
 +
 +==== FIREY JACK ====
 +
 +Oh! I woke up with a backache
 +Backache! Backache!
 +I thought I ought to go to the first aid tin
 +Where I found something for my backache
 +Backache! Backache!
 +I rubbed in some cream and started to scream! Oh no!!!
 +
 +Firey Jack Firey Jack- It's red hot on your back
 +Firey Jack Firey Jack- Believe me it does knack
 +Firey Jack Firey Jack- It's red hot on your back
 +Firey Jack
 +
 +Now I had a back ache on me backache
 +Backache Backache!
 +I jumped into the bath full of cold water
 +The firey Jack had made me backache
 +Backache Backache!
 +I'm worse than before I can't take anymore
 +Oh no!!!
 +
 +Firey Jack Firey Jack- It's red hot on your back
 +Firey Jack Firey Jack- Believe me it does knack
 +Firey Jack Firey Jack- It's red hot on your back
 +Firey Jack
 +
 +Oh! If you do get a backache
 +Backache backache!
 +And you feel you have to reach for the first aid tin
 +Think! Life is not that bad with a backache
 +If you see a tin with firey Jack in
 +Stay awayyyyy...
 +
 +Firey Jack Firey Jack- It's red hot on your back
 +Firey Jack Firey Jack- Believe me it does knack
 +Firey Jack Firey Jack- It's red hot on your back
 +Firey Jack
 +(x2)
 +
 +Its red hot... on your back... on your back
 +
 +
 +==== FISTICUFFS IN FREDERICK STREET ====
 +
 +Frederick Street was on the news tonight
 +outside Fosters club had been a fight
 +and everytime you go to dig the beat
 +you will hear a yelp and somebody shouting for help...
 +
 +Hello, hello, hello, hello, who's down there?
 +who's down there?
 +(x2)
 +in the fisticuffs in Frederick Street
 +I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, you don't wanna be,
 +we don't wanna be there..
 +
 +Fosters club was full up to the brim
 +everybody risking life and limb
 +and just to go and pose at the disco
 +but posing wasn't easy and the D.J.
 +he got queasy, blow by blow...
 +
 +Hello, hello, hello, hello, who's down there?
 +who's down there?
 +(x2)
 +in the fisticuffs in Frederick Street
 +I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, you don't wanna be,
 +we don't wanna be there..
 +
 +Everything'​s silent on Frederick Street
 +a lonely policeman walks the beat...
 +
 +before long everybody'​ll know
 +that Fosters club is not the place to go
 +unless you want your head kicking in
 +you will hear a yelp and somebody shouting for help...
 +
 +Hello, hello, hello, hello, who's down there?
 +who's down there?
 +(x2)
 +in the fisticuffs in Frederick Street
 +I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be, you don't wanna be,
 +we don't wanna be there...
 +
 +
 +==== FRANKIE'​S GOT THE BLUES ====
 +
 +Frankie says that he's got vertigo
 +He says this everytime he leaves the pub, blotto.
 +Backaches, bellyaches, earaches & migrains
 +Frankie'​s life is misery & full of aches n' pains.
 +
 +Frankie'​s got the blues.. Frankie'​s neurotic, he's always feeling pig sick
 +Frankie'​s got the blues.. you will have to excuse, Frankie'​s got the blues
 +
 +Frankie sneezes once then goes to bed
 +"​I'​ve got double pneumonia"​ Frankie said
 +Frankie lives in the doctors surgery
 +Everytime he has a shave he waits in casualty
 +
 +Frankie'​s got the blues.. Frankie'​s neurotic, he's always feeling pig sick
 +Frankie'​s got the blues.. you will have to excuse, Frankie'​s got the blues
 +
 +"They say I am a hypercondriac",​ condriac condriac
 +"But I have got Yellow fever, that's a fact"
 +A blue bottle landed on Frankie'​s head, Frankie'​s head... Frankie'​s head
 +"​Right,​ that's it, I've got Malaria I'll soon be dead".
 +
 +Frankie'​s got the blues.. Frankie'​s neurotic, he's always feeling pig sick
 +Frankie'​s got the blues.. you will have to excuse, Frankie'​s got the blues
 +
 +
 +==== GEORDIE'​S GONE TO JAIL ====
 +
 +He's not a thief or a burglar
 +he never robbed a bank
 +he didn't commit murder
 +all Geordie'​s bullets were blank
 +
 +Set Geordie free, coz Geordie'​s not guilty
 +
 +He's a good guy
 +the guy they never saw
 +the coppers were mistaken
 +Geordie never broke the law
 +
 +Set Geordie free, he never shot nobody at all.
 +
 +Geordie, ooooh he's the inocent party
 +Geordie, ooooh They'​ve locked him away
 +Geordie, ooooh never shot nobody at all
 +Geordie, ooooh Geordie'​s gone to jail.
 +
 +He never takes any drugs
 +(only penicilin) when he's got a headache
 +the fingerprint wasn't Geordie'​s
 +Geordie'​s never been a villan.
 +
 +Set Geordie free, he never shot nobody at all.
 +
 +Geordie, ooooh he's the inocent party
 +Geordie, ooooh They'​ve locked him away
 +Geordie, ooooh never shot nobody at all
 +Geordie, ooooh Geordie'​s gone to jail.
 +
 +Geordie'​s got a pistol
 +it's for self defence
 +but he didn't pull the trigger
 +he commited no offence.
 +
 +Set Geordie free, he never shot nobody at all.
 +Geordie, ooooh he's the inocent party
 +Geordie, ooooh They'​ve locked him away
 +Geordie, ooooh never shot nobody at all
 +Geordie, ooooh Geordie'​s gone to jail.
 +
 +
 +==== GLENDA AND THE TEST TUBE BABY ====
 +
 +Victory if Glenda she, had a baby, oooeee,
 +
 +Things were looking gloomy and Glenda she was sad,
 +Kevin had been out with Carol Sands,
 +But Glenda she though surely,
 +It can't be that bad, if I had a baby,
 +
 +Victory if Glenda she, had a baby, oooeee,
 +
 +Glenda went round to the doctors the next day,
 +You can't have a baby, that's what he said,
 +Glenda did not give up she's got this book to read,
 +Of how to have a test tube baby....
 +
 +Victory if Glenda she, had a baby, oooeee,
 +
 +Glenda'​s Dad had just died and she was unhappy,
 +If only she could have a baby,
 +So to the disapproval of Kevin and his mam,
 +She signed up for a baby...
 +
 +Victory if Glenda she, had a baby, oooeee
 +
 +
 +==== HARRY CROSS (A TRIBUTE TO EDNA) ====
 +
 +Harry Cross, Harry Cross he's not a lucky bloke
 +he's always blue what can he do now Edna's had a stroke
 +Harry Cross, Harry Cross she's always in his head
 +Now Edna's kicked the bucket Edna's snuffed it Edna's dead.
 +
 +9 o'​clock the postman knocks but Harry'​s still in bed
 +"Go away" Harry'​ll say I've got an aching head
 +don't bother meeeeeee
 +
 +Ralph'​s his mate but he can't wait to get out of his way
 +"Go away" Harry'​ll say I want some peace today
 +don't bother meeeeeee
 +
 +Harry'​s full of misery, Harry'​s always busily permanently down
 +Always being rude with
 +Always in a mood with Raaaaaaaaalph
 +
 +It's such a task for Ralph to ask to borrow Harry'​s car
 +Oh "​Here'​s the keys" now get lost please have you gone yet?
 +Tara! don't bother meeeeeeeee
 +
 +Harry'​s full of misery, Harry'​s always busily permanently down
 +Always being rude with
 +Always in a mood with Raaaaaaaaalph
 +
 +He's always sad n' lonely now Harry'​s lost his wife
 +coz Edna was the only Lady in his life
 +and now he takes it out on Raaaaaalph.
 +
 +Harry'​s full of misery, Harry'​s always busily permanently down
 +Always being rude with
 +Always in a mood with Raaaaaaaaalph
 +
 +
 +==== HARRY'​S HANDS ====
 +
 +Harry'​s hands are hands of mystery
 +Connected to all calamities
 +Harry'​s hands are hands of mystery
 +They'​re accused of all burgiaries
 +
 +Harry'​s hands ain't what they used to be
 +Harry'​s hands can't take anymore
 +Harry'​s hands are hands of honesty
 +It's a tragedy
 +
 +And nobody understands,​that Harry'​s
 +handcuffed hands falsely accused, He's confused
 +They made Harry'​s life hell, locked Harry in a cell
 +And put the blame, they put the blame on...
 +Harry'​s hands oo oo Harry'​s hands oo oo
 +
 +Harry'​s hands ain't what they were before
 +The coppers call Harry a criminal
 +Honest Harry, he never broke the law
 +It's a tragedy
 +
 +And nobody understands,​that Harry'​s
 +handcuffed hands falsely accused, He's confused
 +They made Harry'​s life hell, locked Harry in a cell
 +And put the blame, they put the blame on...
 +Harry'​s hands oo oo Harry'​s hands oo oo
 +
 +Judge:"​Harold Hands, you are an habitual criminal,
 +I therefore sentence you to 125 years imprisonment"​
 +
 +And nobody understands,​that Harry'​s
 +handcuffed hands falsely accused, He's confused
 +They made Harry'​s life hell, locked Harry in a cell
 +And put the blame, they put the blame on...
 +Harry'​s hands oo oo Harry'​s hands oo oo
 +
 +Harry'​s hands oo oo
 +
 +
 +==== HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH NEAL? ====
 +
 +There'​s a bloke from Hereford Road
 +who really makes me groan,
 +everyday he's at the door
 +or on the telephone
 +Why can't he just go away
 +and leave me here alone
 +In the pictures in the pub
 +no one can ever know
 +just how much a pest he is
 +he's everywhere I go
 +
 +It's not fair he's always there
 +everywhere I go Neal's there,
 +how do you deal with dddd deal with
 +it's not fair Neal's everywhere I go
 +It's not fair he's always there
 +everywhere I go Neal's there
 +how do you deal with ddd deal with Neal.
 +
 +Everyday I cannot eat my grub
 +or drink or sleep
 +everyday Neal pulls up in his car
 +and goes beep beep
 +What am I supposed to do
 +about this bloomin creep
 +everyday I look outside
 +to see if Neal's about
 +everyday he's there without a doubt
 +
 +And nobody understands,​that Harry'​s
 +handcuffed hands falsely accused, He's confused
 +They made Harry'​s life hell, locked Harry in a cell
 +And put the blame, they put the blame on...
 +Harry'​s hands oo oo Harry'​s hands oo oo
 +
 +It doesn'​t matter where I go
 +Neal will be there I know
 +Neal is not a man
 +he's mice I know
 +
 +
 +==== HOWZA BOUTA KISS BABE??! ====
 +
 +Bored at a party Saturday night looking at Tupperware,
 +in came a chick who made me quickly glad I was th there,
 +how could I get the courage to ask her for a date?
 +Twas such a task for me to ask by then it was too late
 +
 +Howza bouta... Howza Bouta, oooo she drives me crazy
 +howza bouta, howza bouta kiss baby!
 +
 +Why am I such a whimp I thought a soft and skinny puff
 +For me to ask a kiss from her was difficult & tough
 +Right that's it I decided to confront the lass,
 +I started shakin at the knees & tried to make a pass
 +
 +Howza bouta... Howza Bouta, oooo she drives me crazy
 +howza bouta, howza bouta kiss baby!
 +
 +I lose my bottle everytime I see a girl I like
 +I start talkin jibberish & she says "on yer bike"
 +there must be something I can do a kiss would make my day
 +but everytime my gob opens I don't know what to say
 +
 +Howza bouta... Howza Bouta, oooo she drives me crazy
 +howza bouta, howza bouta kiss baby!
 +
 +
 +==== I'LL GET EVEN WITH STEVEN (STEVE IS TENDER) ====
 +
 +Steve is tender Steve is sweet
 +she'll never let him go
 +Steven made her life complete
 +That's why I hate him so
 +
 +Would she ever really understand
 +I came to Durham all the way from Sunderland,
 +when I got there I could not believe
 +she'd gone with that trendy creep called Steve
 +
 +How could she forsake me and see this puff,
 +is it coz of me she's had enough
 +everytime I rang she was not there
 +I'm sorry but she's out, she's out with Steve again somewhere!
 +
 +She's in love with Steven, Steven
 +gonna get even, gonna get Steven,
 +then she won't love Steven, Steven
 +gonna get eve, gonna get Steve.
 +
 +Are she and Steve really in love like she says they are
 +or is it just because Steven'​s dad lends him the car
 +or is it coz I'm ugly and Steven'​s not
 +or does he have something that I haven'​t got
 +
 +She's in love with Steven, Steven
 +gonna get even, gonna get Steven,
 +then she won't love Steven, Steven
 +gonna get eve, gonna get Steve.
 +
 +I'm gonna make him black & blue
 +I'm gonna kick his head in
 +he won't know what to do
 +
 +She's in love with Steven, Steven
 +gonna get even, gonna get Steven,
 +then she won't love Steven, Steven
 +gonna get eve, gonna get Steve.
 +
 +
 +==== I'M A TELLY ADDICT! ====
 +
 +I don't need a doctor, I don't need a drugstore
 +I don't need an injection, I need to put the telly on.
 +
 +Got me in a cold sweat, I don't need no cigarette
 +Sh sh sh shakin"​ like a jelly fish, I need a satellite dish
 +
 +There'​s no doubt that I miss nowt, a TV I can't do without
 +Anything you get on yer television set I'll watch it...
 +
 +I'm a telly, I'm a telly,telly I'm addicted
 +Telly I'm a telly, I can tell I am addicted
 +(x2)
 +
 +I like to keep a step ahead, a TV in the garden shed
 +& with a telly in the bog, I never miss the epilogue
 +
 +Dynasty or Daktari, a broadcast by the Tory party
 +Celebrity squares, blind date, who cares, I'll watch it...
 +
 +I'm a telly, I'm a telly,telly I'm addicted
 +Telly I'm a telly, I can tell I am addicted
 +(x2)
 +It's no surprise I've got square eyes, anyone could predict
 +I'm TV mad, I'm a telly addict!
 +
 +I'm a man in great pain, the box is on the blink again
 +I don't need no morphine, I need a television screen
 +
 +Documentaries,​ there'​s no degrees, I'll even watch a film
 +if it's
 +in Chinese
 +A speech from the Queen, though I'm not very keen. I'll
 +watch it...
 +
 +I'm a telly, I'm a telly,telly I'm addicted
 +Telly I'm a telly, I can tell I am addicted
 +(x2)
 +Coz I'm addicted
 +
 +
 +==== I'VE GOT ASTHMA ====
 +
 +I've got asthma and I can not breath
 +can't breath at all!
 +I've got an inhaler with me
 +I am choking and my face is blue
 +blue and it's getting worse!
 +I think I will have to lie down... coz
 +
 +I've got ASTHMA yeah I've got ASTHMA
 +yeah I've got ASTHMA...
 +
 +I've got asthma and I am wheezing
 +wheezing like mad!
 +I don't think I will sleep tonight
 +I think I'll reach for my inhaler
 +Good idea!
 +I hope it makes me feel better... coz
 +
 +I've got ASTHMA yeah I've got ASTHMA
 +yeah I've got ASTHMA...
 +
 +My inhaler needs a refill
 +what shall I do?
 +the Chemist is not open yet
 +blue face, can't breath and I'm still wheezing
 +dear me! dear me!
 +I just do not know what to do... coz
 +
 +I've got ASTHMA yeah I've got ASTHMA
 +yeah I've got ASTHMA...
 +
 +
 +==== I TRIED TO TRUST TRACEY ====
 +
 +Ooooh, ooooo
 +She's a fibber
 +she's always telling him lies
 +he can't trust her
 +no matter how he tries
 +she swore to me
 +that I would always be the one
 +then she blew me out she's upt and gone
 +
 +Will she ever change
 +she won't fib to me again
 +or will she stay the same way as before
 +
 +I tried tried tried to trust Tracy
 +never trust Tracy.. she's not trustworthy
 +I tried.........
 +you shouldn'​t trust...
 +you shouldn'​t trust Tracy.
 +
 +They both agreed she'll meet him at 9:30
 +she was not there
 +coz Tracy was with me.
 +
 +Will she ever change...
 +
 +I tried tried tried to trust Tracy
 +never trust Tracy.. she's not trustworthy
 +I tried.........
 +you shouldn'​t trust...
 +you shouldn'​t trust Tracy.
 +
 +
 +==== IDLE GOSSIP ====
 +
 +Guess who's working on the fiddle
 +tell me who works on the fiddle
 +I'll tell you who works on the fiddle
 +oooo ooo Idle gossip
 +guess who's just come off the pill
 +tell me who's come off the pill
 +oooo ooo Idle gossip.
 +
 +They must be thick, it's everywhere you go
 +it makes me sick, I just don't wanna know
 +about who's in the latest news, oh no.
 +
 +everybody wants to know the rumours
 +everybody wants to know the scandle
 +Idle, idle,​......... gossip.
 +
 +Guess who can't pay their gas bill
 +tell me who can't pay the bill
 +I'll tell you who can't pay the bill
 +oooo ooo idle gossip
 +guess who I slept with last night
 +tell me where you slept last night
 +oooo ooo idle gossip
 +
 +everybody wants to know the rumours
 +everybody wants to know the scandle
 +Idle, idle,​......... gossip.
 +
 +
 +==== KIDS IN TYNE & WEAR ====
 +
 +Lookin'​ out a dirty old window, down below the cars in the city go rushing by
 +We sit here with no dosh and wonder why?
 +Should we catch the bus to Newcastle, we can't be bothered with the hassle
 +going down, to search for some bread in this dirty town.
 +
 +Down down it really is no joke, down town everybody is broke...
 +
 +We're the kids in tyne & wear wooo (x2)
 +Everybody lives in the hope o' some cash!
 +
 +Bright light & music gets faster, in the disco we can't afford to have a dance
 +We could never pay two quid, not a chance
 +Pig sick, down the Job Center, much later we will be thinking never mind
 +you know life is cruel, life is never kind.
 +
 +Find time to earn an extra bob, find time to do a fiddle job.
 +
 +We're the kids in tyne & wear wooo (x2)
 +Everybody lives in the hope o' some cash! NA NA NA....
 +
 +Looking round the Metro Centre, gotta get a brand new experience feeling rich
 +We can't stop, we're skint and we've got the itch.
 +Sunderland South Shields & Gateshead, not a bleedin'​ chance to make bread
 +anywhere, We don't want to go baby.
 +
 +Whitley bay across to cumbria, you'll be broke if you come 'ere.
 +
 +
 +==== IF YOU'RE IN A POP GROUP YOU'LL END UP PAYING A FORTUNE PRACTICING AT PETER PRACTICE'​S PRACTICE PLACE ====
 +
 +Give'z the money Peter Practice says to us
 +give'z the money quickly don't make a fuss
 +give'z the money....
 +Pete takes the pop groups he'll even take the trash
 +but if you practice at Peter'​s place
 +you must have plenty cash
 +
 +give Pete the money the he'll let you have the key
 +give Pete the money then you can practice free
 +it's icey cold in Peter'​s place
 +but don't switch on the heater
 +coz you'll end up putting 10 quid in
 +Pete's electric meter.
 +
 +Do you want some crisps and pop?
 +they'​re all on sale at Pete's tuck shop
 +we will have to put a stop to Peter
 +
 +we all give Peter the money
 +we've all been nway
 +we all give Peter the money now
 +give'z the cash give'z the bread
 +give'z the money
 +money'​s gone to Peter'​s head.
 +
 +if you are stuck
 +Pete will lend you an amplifier
 +but when it's time to go
 +he'll say five pound hire
 +
 +Do you want some crisps and pop?...
 +
 +we all give Peter the money
 +we've all been nway
 +we all give Peter the money now
 +give'z the cash give'z the bread
 +give'z the money
 +money'​s gone to Peter'​s head.
 +
 +All the pop groups are nearly broke
 +this has gone far beyond the joke
 +Peter Practice is a rich bloke now
 +
 +
 +==== JAMES BOND LIVES DOWN OUR STREET ====
 +
 +My name is Bond! James Bond.
 +
 +James Bond lives down our street
 +I've seen him he catches the 32 bus
 +James Bond lives down our street
 +sometimes he sits on the back seat with us
 +he's got a gun strapped to his chest
 +you can't shoot him in a bullet proof vest
 +a clever lad but can be a pest sometime
 +
 +0.0.7. James Bond lives down our street
 +Jimmy'​s a spy but both you and I know
 +Sean Connery or Roger Moore, that I'm not quite sure
 +But what I know is James Bond...
 +lives down our street
 +
 +James Bond lives down our street
 +sometimes he gets a helicopter to work
 +Jamoes Bond lives down our street
 +me dad's oldfashioned and he says he's a jerk
 +he's always chasing a heavy mob
 +he should go out and get a proper job
 +he should go out and get a proper job sometime
 +
 +0.0.7. James Bond lives down our street
 +Jimmy'​s a spy but both you and I know
 +Sean Connery or Roger Moore, that I'm not quite sure
 +But what I know is James Bond...
 +lives down our street
 +
 +Down our street there lives a spy
 +says he works for M.I. 5
 +he's always a star when you're having a party
 +says he went to school with Russel Harty
 +he's a real smarty
 +he is a real smarty.
 +
 +My hair is Blonde! dyed blonde!
 +
 +
 +==== KEITH'​S A THIEF ====
 +
 +Keith works every night & day
 +honesty'​s his goal
 +but Keith'​s a thief coz he's
 +still claiming dole
 +what a fiddler Keith is
 +he thinks he won't be caught
 +but Keith is gonna end up in court
 +the SS men will knock on the door
 +and Keith won't be working no more
 +
 +Keith Keith Keith'​s a thief...
 +
 +he's making money on the sly
 +which he does not declare
 +no invoices or reciepts anywhere
 +locked in the room with the C.I.D.
 +rather you Keith than me...
 +
 +Keith Keith Keith'​s a thief...
 +
 +Keith is Keith is Keith'​s a thief
 +a rip off and a con
 +Keith is Keith is Keith'​s a thief
 +and he's still signing on
 +Keith is Keith is Keith'​s still signing on
 +
 +I'm not decietful he does say
 +I tell them all the facts
 +but Keith'​s a thief
 +coz he dodges the tax
 +The PH team will get Keith
 +coz will all know that Keith'​s a thief
 +
 +
 +==== THE LAMBRUSCO KID ====
 +
 +I'm always felling lonely
 +I'm always feeling blue
 +she was the one and only
 +she said sheloved me too
 +but now she's gone and left me
 +just like they always do
 +now I'm always full of misery
 +I don't know what to do
 +
 +I'm always on a downer
 +I should be feeling fine
 +I'm never on a upper
 +I need a swig o' wine
 +
 +Now he's always dizzy coz
 +he's busy with fizzy Lambrusco
 +
 +I'm getting fat and lazy
 +I always look a mess
 +I need a little drinky poos
 +to bring me happiness
 +
 +So give him a bottle of that fizzy stuff
 +a Lambrusco kids a kid with sesne
 +he's always at the Off Liscence with me...
 +
 +Now we've found the answer
 +to stop you geelin low
 +a bottle of fizzy wine
 +they call it Lambrusco
 +
 +I'm always feeling lousy
 +but I know that when
 +I've had a glass o'​Lamby
 +I'll be smiling again
 +
 +So give him a bottle of that fizzy stuff...
 +
 +Now we've found the answer
 +to stop you geelin low
 +a bottle of fizzy wine
 +they call it Lambrusco
 +
 +That's what they call me, Lambrusco Kid
 +That's what they call me, I'm the Lambrusco Kid
 +
 +I'm such a misery guts
 +I'm dirty and I stink
 +I've always got a pet lip
 +I need another drink.
 +
 +So give him a bottle of that fizzy stuff...
 +
 +Now we've found the answer
 +to stop you geelin low
 +a bottle of fizzy wine
 +they call it Lambrusco
 +
 +
 +==== LAZY SUNDAY AFTENOON ====
 +
 +Wouldn'​t it be nice to get on with my neighbours
 +But they make it very clear they'​ve got no room for ravers
 +
 +Lazy sunday afternoon
 +I got no time to worry
 +I close my eyes & drift away
 +
 +Here we all are sittin'​ in a rainbow
 +Cor blimy 'Allo Mrs. Jones, how's your Berts lumbago'​
 +
 +Diddly may...
 +
 +I'll sing you a song with no words & no tune
 +Sing in your party while you suss out the moon
 +
 +Lazy sunday afternoon
 +I got no time to worry
 +I close my eyes & drift away
 +
 +...Quiet passage
 +
 +Roody Doody do, Roody doody di day
 +Roody Doody dum a Reedy deedy do dee
 +
 +There'​s no one to hear me, there'​s nothing to say
 +& no one can stop me from feeling this way
 +
 +Lazy sunday afternoon
 +I got no time to worry
 +I close my eyes & drift away
 +
 +...Lazy sunday afternoon...
 +
 +
 +==== MELANCHOLY MARGARET ====
 +
 +Nobby was a soldier, a life in the Army
 +Margarets back home alone waiting suspiciously
 +She can't hide the misery, the upset & despair
 +When she found out Nobby had been having it off elsewhere
 +There'​s Eric & there'​s Robby & there'​s Derrick & there'​s Bobby
 +They gave her the elbow
 +There'​s Harry & there'​s Willy & there'​s Barry & there'​s Billy also
 +
 +Whose that then?
 +
 +Woe is me, I'm melancholy Margaret, I fret coz they leave me
 +God help me I'm melancholy. Snurree?!
 +
 +Tommy was a driver he worked on the buses
 +"​I'​ve got some overtime to do" this is what he says
 +But Margaret wasn't having it, she searched high & low
 +But Tommy'​s gone he's neckin'​ on in the back of the bus depot
 +
 +There'​s Ronnie & there'​s Kenny & there'​s Donny & there'​s Denny
 +they gave her the elbow.
 +There'​s Ronnie & there'​s Timmy & there'​s Micky & there'​s Jimmy also
 +
 +Whose that then?
 +
 +Woe is me, I'm melancholy Margaret, I fret coz they leave me
 +God help me I'm melancholy. Snurree?!
 +(x2)
 +
 +
 +==== MODERN SCHOOL OF MOTORING ====
 +
 +If you hoo hoo want a lesson or two,
 +take a hint you'll pay a mint at...
 +Modern School, Modern School,
 +they always say you are doing okay,
 +it's not true...
 +
 +Come on everybody sing Modern School of Motoring,
 +the best place to go if you want to crash,
 +you will never pass your test,
 +they say you will but it's a jest,
 +Modern School just wants your cash.
 +
 +Out on the road, don't use the highway code,
 +not with us it's too much fuss at...
 +Modern School, Modern School,
 +Jump in and drive you're lucky to be alive,
 +when it's through...
 +
 +Come on everybody sing Modern School of Motoring,
 +the best place to go if you want to crash,
 +you will never pass your test,
 +they say you will but it's a jest,
 +Modern School just wants your cash.
 +
 +When the test day, comes around they will say,
 +just stay cool, that's the rule of,
 +Modern School, Modern School,
 +then when you fail, they will say next time you'll sail,
 +right through...
 +
 +Come on everybody sing Modern School of Motoring,
 +the best place to go if you want to crash,
 +you will never pass your test,
 +they say you will but it's a jest,
 +Modern School just wants your cash.
 +
 +
 +==== MY GIRLFRIEND'​S DAD'S A VICAR ====
 +
 +God help me what can I do,
 +my girlfriend'​s dad is a Vicar boo hoo,
 +and he won't let me be alone with you,
 +oh he's a Vicar and there'​s nothing I can do
 +
 +God help him what can he do,
 +his girlfriend'​s dad is a Vicar boo hoo,
 +and he won't let him be alone with you,
 +oh he's a Vicar and there'​s nothing he can do.
 +
 +
 +==== MY WIFE'S A PSYCHOPATH ====
 +
 +I couldn'​t wait for my blind date, I did not sleep that night
 +could I catch th perfect match, would she be Mrs Right!?
 +A quiet lass so middle class, dignified, meek & mild?
 +I faced the wrath of a Psychopath & a woman that went wild
 +
 +Before too long it all went wrong, she wern't the one for me
 +But I was trapped when I got slapped by a raving loony
 +She got mean, she caused a scene, I said "​You'​re not my type"
 +But I gave in, how could I win? As she threw another swipe...ferocoiusly
 +
 +My wife's a psychopath. Throws a fit then she hides in the bathroom
 +My wife's a psychopath.Aooeee
 +My wife's a psychopath.Always on the warpath
 +After me, mentally deranged!
 +
 +I'm black & blue, I said "​We'​re through"​ I'm cuts n'​scrapes n'​scars
 +She clenched her fist, I ducked, she missed, so I kicked her up the arse!
 +She yelled & squealed as I revealed I had learnt some self defence
 +I smashed her face in, just incase, coz I hate violence...it'​s not for me
 +
 +My wife's a psychopath. Throws a fit then she hides in the bathroom
 +My wife's a psychopath.Aooeee
 +My wife's a psychopath.Always on the warpath
 +After me, mentally deranged!
 +
 +Psycho...Psycho...she'​s a bleedin'​ Psycho...
 +
 +
 +==== NELLIE THE ELEPHANT ====
 +
 +To Bombay a travelling circus came, they brought an
 +inteligent elephant and Nellie was her name
 +One dark night she slipped her iron chain
 +and off she ran to Hindustan
 +ans was never seen again.. oooooo
 +
 +Nellie the elephant pack her trunk and said goodbye to the circus
 +Off she went with a trumpety trump trump trump trump.
 +New Nellie the elephant packed her trunk and trundled off to the jungle
 +Off she went with a trumpety trump trump trump trump.
 +
 +..The head of the herd was calling far far away
 +They met one night in the silver light on the road to Mandalay...
 +Night by night she danced to the circus band
 +When Nelli was leading the big parade she looked so proud and grand
 +No more tricks for Nellie to perform
 +They taught her how to take a bow and she took the crowd by storm..
 +oooooooooooo
 +
 +
 +==== NEVILLE IS A NERD ====
 +
 +We all believed that Neville
 +was a f f f fine lad
 +but when we go to know him better
 +Neville drove us mad.
 +Neville is a bighead
 +Neville is a pain
 +Neville is a pratt without a brain
 +
 +What a wally, what a burk
 +he sticks out like a sore thumb
 +he's a wally, he's a jerk
 +nobody can be as dumb
 +
 +Neville'​s a hopeless case
 +he can never pull a bird
 +Neville'​s thick and he's got a pig face
 +Neville is a nutter, Neville is nerd
 +oh Neville is a nutter, Neville is....
 +Neville is a nerd.
 +Neville gets on your wick
 +Neville is a moron
 +Neville makes you sick
 +oh Neville is a Neville is a nerd
 +
 +Oh Neville'​s wearing Aramus
 +and a little touch of Brut,
 +he thinks he will pick up a chick
 +in his white trendy suit,
 +sunglasses in the disco
 +Nev can't see too clear
 +he's such a burk, he trips and
 +spills his beer
 +What a wally, what a burk
 +he sticks out like a sore thumb
 +he's a wally, he's a jerk
 +nobody can be as dumb
 +
 +Neville'​s nice to all the girls
 +but it's just a bluff
 +Neville thinks he's Jack the lad
 +but he's just a trendy puff.
 +He says he's been to Tenerife
 +and he knows Simon le Bon,
 +but it's a codswallop
 +coz Neville is a con
 +What a wally, what a burk
 +he sticks out like a sore thumb
 +he's a wally, he's a jerk
 +nobody can be as dumb
 +
 +
 +==== NOWT CAN COMPARE TO SUNDERLAND FINE FARE ====
 +
 +If you can't afford to spend a lot
 +and you're sick of the cost of livin,
 +you've got to do something but you dunno what,
 +just look what Fine Fare's givin,
 +prices that please you and me
 +it's cheaper than a Pakistani shop
 +oh now you know the place to go
 +to make you smile and grin,
 +so take a dare come to Fine Fare
 +and get your shoppin in
 +
 +We've got the store, nowt can compare,
 +We've got the store for you.
 +We've got the store, Sunderland'​s Fine Fare,
 +We've got the store for you
 +This is the store for you..
 +
 +Oh Prestos, Tescos, Asda Price
 +they'​re all so cccrap
 +the Fine Fare boys are much more nice
 +coz Fine Fare's got more class.
 +You'll save much more at the Fine Fare store
 +coz Fine Fare's fair to you
 +
 +Oh now you know the place to go...
 +We've got the store, nowt can compare,
 +We've got the store for you.
 +We've got the store, Sunderland'​s Fine Fare,
 +We've got the store for you
 +This is the store for you..
 +
 +
 +==== ONE NIGHT IN MOSCOW (& WE'LL BE RUSSIAN HOME!) ====
 +
 +We had to book a holiday, but we were sick o'​Whitley bay
 +We fancied the Mediterranean.
 +All the vacancies had gone, that's all the vacancies but one
 +A Vacancy for which we didn't plan.
 +
 +What could we do? we could hitch, a ride back home from moskvitch
 +We had to stay & face the cost & sunbathe in the russian frost.
 +
 +One one one ONE NIGHT IN MOSCOW, & WE'LL BE RUSSIAN HOME
 +One one one ONE NIGHT IN MOSCOW
 +I'll be Russian, YOU'LL BE RUSSIAN, WE'LL ALL BE RUSSIAN HOME
 +
 +The brochure said it's nice & warm, you need no Russian uniform
 +We had the flu & caught a Russian cough,
 +No fish n'​chips or decent pubs, We called the hotel Wormwood Scrubs
 +We said we would complain to Gorbochof.
 +
 +We couldn'​t find a disco anywhere, no mcdonalds or a wimpy in red square
 +We must have been potty to have gone to the soviet union.
 +
 +One one one ONE NIGHT IN MOSCOW, & WE'LL BE RUSSIAN HOME
 +One one one ONE NIGHT IN MOSCOW
 +I'll be Russian, YOU'LL BE RUSSIAN, WE'LL ALL BE RUSSIAN HOME
 +
 +For a pint & Coronation Street...RUSSIAN HOME
 +A Bacon Sarny & as much as we can eat
 +
 +RUSSIAN HOME...
 +
 +
 +==== PARK LANE PUNCH UP ====
 +
 +Oh sittin in the Taxi rank in Park Lane
 +in comes a trendy geazer with no brain,
 +and staring at a punk who was a good mate,
 +I said lets make a move but it was too late
 +
 +Up goes a shout, a rumble in the crowd
 +a fight breaks out, someone starts clouting me,
 +call in the Army oooh
 +call in the Army
 +call in the Army oooh
 +call in the Army...
 +
 +The Park Lane punch up escalates
 +somebody'​s teeth have gone
 +it's too much for the coppers
 +there'​s a RIOT going on, so
 +call in the Army, call in the Army...
 +
 +Park Lane quickly turns into a bloothbath
 +a disco boy lies unconcious on the red path,
 +Coppers helmets knocked off in the gutter
 +all because of a trendy towny nutter
 +
 +Up goes a shout, a rumble in the crowd
 +a fight breaks out, someone starts clouting me,
 +call in the Army oooh
 +call in the Army
 +call in the Army oooh
 +call in the Army...
 +
 +
 +==== PC STOKER ====
 +
 +Stoker is a boy in blue
 +and he must be the worst
 +He's a copper!
 +Stoker someday he'll get you
 +but you won't be the first
 +he's a copper
 +he's a police constable
 +that makes us feel uncomfortable
 +he's a copper
 +no more football in the street
 +or neckin with your girlfriend
 +Stoker'​s on the beat again...
 +
 +He's a Bobby he's a joker
 +he's a Bobby we want dead
 +he's a Bobby, P.C. Stoker why
 +can't we have a decent copper
 +proper copper instead?
 +
 +Stoker loves to see a fight
 +he really goes to town
 +he's a copper
 +Stoker'​s smiling with delight
 +he's took somebody down
 +he's a copper
 +he'll prove you guilty in the court
 +you'll wish that you had never fought
 +a copper
 +don't cry or shout or scream or yell
 +there'​s nothing you can do
 +when Stoker'​s in the cell with you
 +
 +He's a Bobby he's a joker
 +he's a Bobby we want dead
 +he's a Bobby, P.C. Stoker why
 +can't we have a decent copper
 +proper copper instead?
 +
 +The United Team supporters
 +have invaded the pitch
 +that's P.C. Stoker'​s quaters so
 +he finds his talky switch
 +I need some help down here boys
 +there'​s punks and skinheads too
 +and we all hate P.C. Stoker &
 +we hate the boys in blue.
 +
 +Stoker'​s rather fed up coz
 +there'​s no one else to nick
 +he's a copper
 +someone soon will kick his head in
 +just you wait n'see
 +it needs somebody tough
 +coz we've all had enough
 +yes it needs somebody tough
 +but I think it won't be me
 +
 +He's a Bobby he's a joker
 +he's a Bobby we want dead
 +he's a Bobby, P.C. Stoker why
 +can't we have a decent copper
 +proper copper instead?
 +
 +
 +==== PLEASE RELEASE ME/"​DARLINHG I LOATHE YOU ====
 +
 +When I met you, I thought how sweet,
 +My lonely life would now be complete
 +If only I knew, have I no brain?
 +You're a two faced tramp, driving me insane.
 +
 +Dearest darling, I leave this note for you
 +A love letter with sincerity
 +Dearest darling, I leave this note for you
 +Get out o'my life, get out o'my life
 +Coz I...loathe you
 +
 +You smiled at me, she smiled at him
 +My heart melted, his heart melted
 +This was the real thing, this was the real thing
 +I'm besotted, he's besotted
 +What a nincompoop, you're the devil in a frock
 +I'm a naive nugget, and you made me a laughing stock
 +
 +Dearest darling, I leave this note for you
 +A love letter with sincerity
 +Dearest darling, I leave this note for you
 +Get out o'my life, get out o'my life
 +Coz I...loathe you
 +(x2)
 +
 +
 +==== POLTERGEIST IN THE PANTRY ====
 +
 +I felt like a snack in the middle of the night
 +I crept down stairs for a nibble and a bite, ooee ooee
 +A crash beyond the kitchen door
 +Told me that it was back for more, ooee ooee
 +
 +You might o' guessed, I am possessed
 +I really must insist
 +May I suggest invest in an exorcist.
 +
 +Help me, oo ee
 +oo ee, believe me
 +geist ooo ooo poltergeist ooo ooo
 +where'​s he?...
 +in the pantry.
 +
 +I went goose pimplyfied
 +No where to run, no where to hide, for me
 +I was sceptical before
 +But a pantry poltergeist I saw here to stay.
 +
 +Help me, oo ee
 +oo ee, believe me
 +geist ooo ooo poltergeist ooo ooo
 +where'​s he?...
 +in the pantry.
 +
 +You might o' guessed, I am possessed
 +I really must insist
 +May I suggest invest in an exorcist.
 +
 +Help me, oo ee
 +oo ee, believe me
 +geist ooo ooo poltergeist ooo ooo
 +where'​s he?...
 +in the pantry.
 +
 +==== POOR DAVEY ====
 +
 +There was Davey, there was Davey,
 +There was Davey, Happy Davey
 +His girlfriend'​s gone, his girlfriend'​s gone away, ay ay ay ay...
 +All he wants is a room with the stars looking down across Davey,
 +The sun and the moon and the sky high are just fine for poor Davey,
 +There'​s nothing left, there'​s nothing left,
 +There'​s nothing left to see for poor Davey...
 +He wants to be, he wants to be,
 +He wants to be alone...
 +Why did she love him so? Why did she have to go?
 +Poor Davey doesn'​t know, now Davey'​s all alone...
 +She did upset, she did upset,
 +She did upset Davey, Davey, Davey,
 +He won't forget, he won't forget, not Davey...
 +
 +==== POT BELLY BILL ====
 +
 +The Gas supply has been cut off, the tele's on the blink
 +Billy stinks, he drinks & spews up in the kitchen sink
 +He's sick of his bleedin'​ life, & he's gonna smack the wife in the jaw
 +Billy Mrs cleans and scrubs while Billy'​s down the boozer
 +But she's had a belly full now Billy'​s gonna lose her
 +She's in her dressing gown, Billy'​s breaking down the bedroom door
 +
 +POT... POT BELLY BILL
 +A Big fat dirty lout
 +A pig & a layabout
 +POT... POT BELLY BILL
 +A fowl gob that's never shut
 +A fat slob with a beer gut.
 +POT POT POT BELLY BILL
 +
 +He's such a hog at tea time, he shovels down his grub
 +He burps & makes rude noises, then he nicks off down the pub
 +Between you & me, & Billy'​s Mrs will agree, he's a swine
 +
 +POT... POT BELLY BILL
 +A Big fat dirty lout
 +A pig & a layabout
 +POT... POT BELLY BILL
 +A fowl gob that's never shut
 +A fat slob with a beer gut.
 +POT POT POT BELLY BILL
 +
 +It's closing time at the local, & he stumbles out the bar
 +The drunken lump forgets to switch the lights on in his car
 +But Billy is a darer, he did not see the Sierra round the bend.
 +1/2 an hour latter Billy'​s hospitalised,​
 +"Tell the wife to bring some cans in with the grapes"​ He cries.
 +But she's seen the light, she said "Serve the fat slob right, I hope he DIES"
 +
 +POT... POT BELLY BILL
 +A Big fat dirty lout
 +A pig & a layabout
 +POT... POT BELLY BILL
 +A fowl gob that's never shut
 +A fat slob with a beer gut.
 +POT POT POT BELLY BILL
 +
 +==== POT LUCK PERCY ====
 +
 +I would rather be Percy, rather than me
 +I wanna be Percy
 +I would rather be Percy, rather than me
 +
 +Percy'​s got more money, more money than me
 +I wish I could be Percy
 +I would rather be Percy rather than me...Rather than me...
 +
 +We wanna be, wanna be wanna be
 +We all wanna be you
 +We all wanna be, wanna be wanna be
 +Percy we wanna be you
 +
 +Percy says that he's no more lucky than me
 +How can he be serious
 +Percy is more lucky, more lucky than me
 +
 +Percy'​s got more girlies, more girlies than me
 +I'm full o'​jealousy
 +He could spare a girlie, one girlie for me...girlie for me...
 +
 +We wanna be, wanna be wanna be
 +We all wanna be you
 +We all wanna be, wanna be wanna be
 +Percy we wanna be you
 +
 +
 +He wins when he bets on the bandit,
 +He spends all night in the bingo hall
 +He's lucky in the bookies, & you'll always hear him call...house
 +
 +We wanna be, wanna be wanna be
 +We all wanna be you
 +We all wanna be, wanna be wanna be
 +Percy we wanna be you (x2)
 +
 +==== QUEEN ALEXANDRA ROAD IS WHERE SHE SAID SHE'D BE BUT WAS SHE THERE TO MEET ME? NO CHANCE ====
 +
 +She was at a party I was stuck at home
 +I was not invited so she went on her own
 +I will not be long now this is what she said
 +I'm stood waiting for her I must be off my head
 +
 +Queen Alexandra Road is where she said she'd be
 +But was she there to meet me? No chance.
 +I was going to land her a thump when I see her you see
 +She's forgotten about me.
 +
 +It was well past midnight she still dug the groove
 +I just stood there freezing I couldn'​t even move
 +She will soon get sick now want to go back home
 +There was no sign of her I should have known
 +
 +Queen Alexandra Road is where she said she'd be
 +But was she there to meet me? No chance.
 +I was going to land her a thump when I see her you see
 +She's forgotten about me.
 +
 +Oh riganortis set in, I was a block of ice
 +I'de even missed the late film starring VincentPrice
 +Two o'​clock she turned up, have you been waiting long?
 +She looked into my eyes sweetly, I said not that long...
 +
 +==== QUICK TO QUIT THE QUENTIN ====
 +
 +Oh quarter to five we were barely alive
 +we were hungry,
 +three weeks we've been together through
 +wet and rainy weather, we were c, c, c, cold,
 +oh out on the trek of a hotel to check in that night
 +but we knew we'de done wrong from the stink
 +and the pong & the feeling that something
 +wasn't right...
 +
 +We were quick quick quick, ooooh, oooh
 +Hotel Quentin Hotel Hell
 +we were quick to quit the Quentin
 +A place you shouldn'​t have went in
 +we were quick quick quick, ooooh, oooh,
 +it's crap here we could tell,
 +we were quick to quit the Quentin
 +a night we should have spent in another Hotel.
 +
 +That evening we felt bad twas the dinner that
 +we had, at Hotel Quentin...
 +at the breakfast we won't show up,
 +coz we don't want to throw up anymore,
 +and we knew we'de done wrong from the stink
 +and the pong & the feeling that something
 +wasn't right...
 +We were quick quick quick, ooooh, oooh
 +Hotel Quentin Hotel Hell
 +we were quick to quit the Quentin
 +A place you shouldn'​t have went in
 +we were quick quick quick, ooooh, oooh,
 +it's crap here we could tell,
 +we were quick to quit the Quentin
 +a night we should have spent in another Hotel.
 +
 +on your honeymoon or on your holiday,
 +you're gonna need a place to stay
 +take our advice the Quentin is not nice,
 +if you see the Hotel Quentin stay away...
 +We were quick quick quick, ooooh, oooh
 +Hotel Quentin Hotel Hell
 +we were quick to quit the Quentin
 +A place you shouldn'​t have went in
 +we were quick quick quick, ooooh, oooh,
 +it's crap here we could tell,
 +we were quick to quit the Quentin
 +a night we should have spent in another Hotel.
 +
 +==== RODNEY'​S MEMORY ====
 +
 +Rodney remember me, Rodney remember me....
 +She haunts Rodney'​s memory
 +
 +Rodney gave Sheila a slap when she begged him not to drink
 +"Mind yer own damn bussiness"​ Rodney snarled, he didn't think
 +Now everything from then is blurred but Rodney can't forget those words
 +She cried....
 +
 +Rodney remember me, Rodney remember me....
 +She haunts Rodney'​s memory
 +
 +Now Rodney was a slob, he treat Sheila just like muck
 +"Move yourself"​ he growled and dragged her to his pick-up truck
 +He looped the loop in a drunken stuper down the mountain side
 +When Sheila cried.....
 +
 +Rodney remember me, Rodney remember me....
 +She haunts Rodney'​s memory
 +
 +OH! Rodney took her in his arms and through the broken glass
 +He climbed out of the wreckage & he lay her on the grass
 +He had too many beers, but he couldn'​t hide the tears
 +When Sheila cried.....
 +
 +Rodney remember me, Rodney remember me....
 +She haunts Rodney'​s memory
 +
 +==== RON DIXON DUMPED D-D ====
 +
 +Na na na
 +
 +D-D's got a horses head, enough to make yer sick
 +How could Ron Dixon have wed Red Rum with lipstick
 +The most repulsive sight on earth, to ugly to discuss
 +How could anyone give birth to a bird so hideous
 +
 +Ron Dixon, Ron Dixon he,
 +Ron Dixon he, dumped D-D
 +(x2)
 +D-D she could not believe when Bev got the hots for Ron
 +But D-D Ronny did deceive, deceitful Ron Dixon
 +The chance that Ron had waited for, he gave D-D the push
 +This was the last time Ronny saw D-D's monstrous mush
 +
 +Ron Dixon, Ron Dixon he,
 +Ron Dixon he, dumped D-D
 +(x2)
 +
 +Ron Dixon he dumped D-D...D-D
 +
 +
 +==== SHE GOES TO FINOS ====
 +
 +Every night I know that she goes to Finos,
 +and every night I know that she see's him
 +Every night she holds him tight at Finos
 +and everynight it's alright for him...
 +
 +and she goes... La la la la la la la to Finos
 +yes she goes... la la la la la la la with him,
 +and she goes... La la la la la la la to Finos
 +yes she goes... la la la la la la la...
 +
 +Every night I try to get into Finos
 +and every night they just won't let me in,
 +and everynight I watch him meet her at Finos
 +and every night it's alright for him...
 +
 +and she goes... La la la la la la la to Finos
 +yes she goes... la la la la la la la with him,
 +and she goes... La la la la la la la to Finos
 +yes she goes... la la la la la la la...
 +
 +One of these nights I'm gonna get into Finos
 +and one of this nights I'm gonna make her see me,
 +and every night I'm gonna get into Finos
 +and everynight will be alright for me...
 +
 +and she goes... La la la la la la la to Finos
 +yes she goes... la la la la la la la with him,
 +and she goes... La la la la la la la to Finos
 +yes she goes... la la la la la la la...
 +
 +==== SHE'S A WORKY TICKET ====
 +
 +She's a worky ticket I bought her a King cone
 +and she woudn'​t lick it
 +she wanted the chocolate one but when I got there
 +they'd all gone.
 +
 +yeah she's a worky ticket everywhere we go
 +Worky ticket
 +leaves me standing in the rain
 +and freezin in the snow
 +Worky ticket everywhere we go
 +Worky ticket, worky ticket...
 +
 +sent me up the pub for 20 L and B
 +but when I got back all she did was yell at me
 +she was sittin watchin Charles Dichens on the box
 +what's that funny smell ya better go and wash yer socks
 +I couldn'​t bear it could not take it any more
 +grabbed me coat and me hat and slipped out of the door
 +
 +yeah she's a worky ticket everywhere we go
 +Worky ticket
 +leaves me standing in the rain
 +and freezin in the snow
 +Worky ticket everywhere we go
 +Worky ticket, worky ticket...
 +
 +She's a little worky ticket I bought her a watch and
 +she wouldn'​t fit it
 +I fixed if meself, it smashed upon the shelf
 +It doesn'​t fit, never mind...
 +
 +yeah she's a worky ticket everywhere we go
 +Worky ticket
 +leaves me standing in the rain
 +and freezin in the snow
 +Worky ticket everywhere we go
 +Worky ticket, worky ticket...
 +
 +==== SILLY BILLY ====
 +
 +Billy'​s confused he's been abused,
 +Billy'​s bemused with Barbara,
 +she went with Billy but he's so silly
 +she's finished with him now.
 +All the wedding plans have gone down the drain
 +will Billy ever see Babs again?
 +
 +He's a silly Billy,
 +why can't Billy not see?
 +that Babs is just a slag she's a dirty bag
 +she just wants his willy
 +but poor Billy can't see
 +that she's a trollop & he's a silly Billy
 +
 +Babs is back she's got the knack
 +knows how to wrap him round her finger
 +her little finger
 +a kiss and a cuddle now Billy'​s in a muddle
 +coz Babs has gone again
 +
 +Now what's gonna happen to the honeymoon?
 +Babs has gone & Billy'​s been a goon.
 +
 +He's a silly Billy,
 +why can't Billy not see?
 +that Babs is just a slag she's a dirty bag
 +she just wants his willy
 +but poor Billy can't see
 +that she's a trollop & he's a silly Billy
 +
 +==== SPIDERS IN THE DRESSING ROOM ====
 +
 +I was getting dressed late one night
 +along came a spider and I got a fright
 +oh I could not squash it flat
 +No matter how I tried,
 +And when it looked me in the eye
 +I ran away to hide...
 +
 +I put on me Doctor Martin shoes
 +A battle with the spider that I wasn't gonna loose
 +A kick from the left a kick from the right
 +I was on the floor but I was alright
 +It was gonna be a long long night
 +
 +Spiders in the dressing room
 +Spiders everywhere
 +Spider in the dressing room beware
 +(repeat twice)
 +
 +Things were getting hot and I had to take a chance
 +The spider got impatient
 +Started crawling up me pants
 +I shook it off me legthump it hit the ground
 +Everything was silent so I didn't make a sound
 +I crossed the room as happy as can be
 +I had killed the spider now it couldn'​t bother me
 +But with me arm on the light
 +He was there ready for a fight
 +It was gonna be a long long night.
 +
 +Spiders in the dressing room
 +Spiders everywhere
 +Spider in the dressing room beware
 +(x2)
 +
 +It was getting late and the spider wasn't dead
 +An audience had gathered round
 +AndI was going red
 +I put a jam jar on the floor
 +the spider crawled inside it
 +I screwed the lid back on the top
 +And threw the jar outside
 +At a party late that night
 +Everything was bright and gay
 +We played all our pop records and danced the night away,
 +Early in the morning came a knocking at the door
 +I opened it slowly guess what I saw
 +It was gonna be a long long night...
 +
 +Spiders in the dressing room
 +Spiders everywhere
 +Spider in the dressing room beware
 +(x4)
 +
 +==== SOD THE NEIGHBOURS ====
 +
 +Rant n' rave, don't give a toss, show the snobs next who's boss
 +Turn the volume to size ten, they 'll never speak to you again
 +Sod the Sod the Sod the (x2)
 +
 +Sod the neighbours, we're not proud,
 +turn it up loud, turn it up loud
 +Sod the neighbours, don't pack it in,
 +drive "em mad with the bleedin'​ din
 +
 +Party all night, don't care less,
 +show them that you mean business
 +Scream, cause turmoil & get yer neighbours blood to boil!
 +
 +Sod the neighbours, we're not proud,
 +turn it up loud, turn it up loud
 +Sod the neighbours, don't pack it in,
 +drive "em mad with the bleedin'​ din
 +(x2)
 +
 +==== RODNEY'​S MEMORY ====
 +
 +Things do go wrong, it's not long since I've been blue,
 +But I know the remedy, I can see just what to do...
 +
 +Don't be a coward, don't be yellow,
 +It always pays to be mellow,
 +Stay cool, stay free and then you will see,
 +It's best to stay mellow...
 +
 +I was upset and in debt with no money,
 +But I did not stay sad, it's not that bad, so remember...
 +
 +Oh if you are down in the town with no bus fare,
 +Start walking and smile, in a while you'll be back home...
 +
 +==== TAKEN FOR A MUG ====
 +
 +Everybody says I'm a gully ully ullible guy
 +Everybody sniggers & laughs when they pass by
 +A love sick nut easily misled
 +He's always infatuated
 +Birds all do with me just as they please
 +& they all say I'm a cissy with weak knees
 +
 +Everybody knows...
 +
 +Mug I'm a mug I've been taken for a mug again
 +Mug he's a mug he's been taken for a ride
 +Mug I'm a mug I've been taken for a mug again
 +Taken taken taken taken taken taken taken for a ride
 +
 +I let womaen walk all over me
 +I should tell them nick off politely
 +A spineless sucker with no back bone
 +He ain't got no mind of his own
 +A soft touch, I am far too long to trick me
 +
 +Mug I'm a mug I've been taken for a mug again
 +Mug he's a mug he's been taken for a ride
 +Mug I'm a mug I've been taken for a mug again
 +Taken taken taken taken taken taken taken for a ride
 +
 +
 +I'm too vulnerable my mates say
 +A dimwit any dame can lead astray, ay
 +
 +Everybody knows...
 +
 +Mug I'm a mug I've been taken for a mug again
 +Mug he's a mug he's been taken for a ride
 +Mug I'm a mug I've been taken for a mug again
 +Taken taken taken taken taken taken taken for a ride
 +(x2)
 +
 +He's been taken for a mug
 +
 +==== TERRY TALKING ====
 +
 +Terry is a recluse, he's a misfit
 +Terry never goes out, he's a hermit
 +
 +A lonely lonely dude
 +Terry won't answer the phone or the door
 +& we don't see Terry no more
 +
 +No-one can contact Terry anymore
 +A life of solitude
 +
 +Hello.... this is Terry talking
 +Terry talking, talking all alone
 +Hello... this is Terry Talking
 +on the answer phone... Terry'​s not at home
 +
 +Terry is a plonker, Terry is a nut
 +Locked in the house with the curtains shut
 +
 +No-one can contact Terry...
 +
 +Hello.... this is Terry talking
 +Terry talking, talking all alone
 +Hello... this is Terry Talking
 +on the answer phone... Terry'​s not at home
 +(x2)
 +
 +==== THE ASHBROOKE LAUNDERETTE.... YOU'LL STINK, YOUR CLOTHES SHRINK, YOUR WHITE'​SLL BE AS BLACK AS INK ====
 +
 +I didn't have a spin dryer so I had to go
 +he didn't have a spin dryer so he had to go
 +with his dirty socks and undies o, o, o, o, oh
 +to the cleaners on the corner, but how was I to know
 +they'​de be more dirty at 3:30 oooooh
 +
 +Rub a dub a dub dub we wash and scrub
 +we wash your laundry,
 +Rub a dub a dub dub we wash your laundry..
 +They say my clothes are cleaner
 +but I'm not a lunatic
 +they should be shot they have not got
 +Per-sil Auto-matic
 +Rub a dub a dub rub a dub a dub dub...
 +
 +So many things go missing at the Ashbrooke Launderette
 +so many things go missing at the Ashbrooke Launderette
 +the clothes that you have left dirty and wet
 +So if you want some washing done
 +d, d, d, d, don't forget,
 +you'll suffer at the Ashbrooke Lauderette...
 +Rub a dub a dub dub we wash and scrub
 +we wash your laundry,
 +Rub a dub a dub dub we wash your laundry..
 +They say my clothes are cleaner
 +but I'm not a lunatic
 +they should be shot they have not got
 +Per-sil Auto-matic
 +Rub a dub a dub rub a dub a dub dub...
 +
 +You'll stink, your clothes shrink
 +your white'​sll be as black as ink
 +your best red jumper turns to pink
 +all crumpled up and wet
 +We've been, have you been
 +to get your dirty washing clean
 +Are you clean you couldn'​t have been
 +to the Ashbrooke Launderette...
 +
 +==== THE PSYCHOSURGERY ====
 +
 +I'd have a hysterectomy,​ I'd have a blood transfusion
 +I'd even have a vasectomy, with no trousers on
 +Spend a month in the infirmary, operate on me night & day
 +But my dentures disappear everytime I hear them say
 +Psycho, psychosurgery
 +
 +Let me out, Let me out
 +Dumped in the dentists chair
 +Psyiiicho surgery, psiiicho surgery
 +Let me out, Let me out
 +I'm in agony, I must be dumb, I should'​na come
 +To the psychosurger,​ psychosurgery
 +
 +I'd have a leg amputated, you can pull my appendix out
 +Fix a foot that's dislocated, I'll say I felt nowt
 +Acupuncture ain't no problem, bravery'​s my middle name
 +But I just can't face that lang filling place again
 +Psycho, psychosurgery
 +
 +Let me out, Let me out
 +Dumped in the dentists chair
 +Psyiiicho surgery, psiiicho surgery
 +Let me out, Let me out
 +I'm in agony, I must be dumb, I should'​na come
 +To the psychosurger,​ psychosurgery
 +
 +I'll never set foot down that dental nutters lane...again
 +
 +Let me out, Let me out
 +Dumped in the dentists chair
 +Psyiiicho surgery, psiiicho surgery
 +Let me out, Let me out
 +I'm in agony, I must be dumb, I should'​na come
 +To the psychosurger,​ psychosurgery
 +...Let me out
 +
 +==== THE SPHINX STINKS ====
 +
 +The grub was vile, we couldn'​t crack a smile
 +We paid twenty smackers just to sail up the Nile
 +It cos ten quid..
 +To get stuck inside a pppppyramid.
 +
 +I'd rather be in Hawaii, cleethorpes or southend
 +You won't catch us on the Egypt bus again again again.
 +
 +The... Sphinx stinks, Sphinx stinks
 +They do not care on Egypt air
 +Sphinx stinks, Sphinx stinks
 +In CAI I I I RO
 +The Sphinx stinks, Sphinx stinks
 +You will get ripped off in Egypt oh!
 +
 +The hotel room filled us with gloom
 +We should o' spent the night in a mummy'​s tomb
 +A camel ride...
 +Another ten smackers and a numb backside.
 +
 +I'd rather be...
 +The... Sphinx stinks, Sphinx stinks
 +They do not care on Egypt air
 +Sphinx stinks, Sphinx stinks
 +In CAI I I I RO
 +The Sphinx stinks, Sphinx stinks
 +You will get ripped off in Egypt oh!
 +(x2)
 +
 +==== THERE'​S A TROLLOP UP ELMWOOD STREET ====
 +
 +I'd walk across the M.1.
 +I'd trek through the Amazon
 +I'D BE A SPANISH MATADOR, NOWT WOULD BE TOO RISKY FOR ME
 +I'd loop the loop in a Jumbo
 +I'd box with Frankie Bruno
 +I could do anything, dance in a lions den
 +But i'm never gonna walk up Elmwood Street again
 +
 +There'​s a slag, there'​s a trollop up Elmwood Street
 +A man's not safe to walk up there alone
 +A dirty bag, there'​s a trollop up Elmwood Street
 +There'​s a tart, bag, slut, slag, trollop, up Elmwood Street
 +
 +I'd fence with a sword that was blunt
 +I'd hitch a lift from James Hunt
 +I could do anything....
 +
 +There'​s a slag, there'​s a trollop up Elmwood Street
 +A man's not safe to walk up there alone
 +A dirty bag, there'​s a trollop up Elmwood Street
 +There'​s a tart, bag, slut, slag, trollop, up Elmwood Street
 +(x2)
 +...Say no more.
 +
 +==== TOMMY KOWEYS CAR ====
 +
 +Hey! hey! hey! hey!
 +There'​s a motor store at the top of Hylton Road
 +you go there for for little bits n pieces for your car
 +and in the office there sits a secretary she's got
 +Long blonde hair,
 +Mr Tommy Kowey fancies her...
 +
 +I saw her in Tommy Kowey'​s car (x2)
 +in Tommy Kowey'​s car.
 +
 +At the motor store he was there last Tuesday night
 +with her I saw, they were kissin at the factory door
 +but she still tells me, there is nothing going on
 +with us you see it was Tommy Kowey'​s wife you saw...
 +
 +I saw her in Tommy Kowey'​s car (x2)
 +in Tommy Kowey'​s car.
 +
 +At the motor store Mr Tommy Koweys gotta
 +Jag-U-Ar she's never been in it she says before
 +but now she tells lies, she was havin dinner out
 +the other night and she went in Tommy Kowey'​s car...
 +
 +I saw her in Tommy Kowey'​s car (x2)
 +in Tommy Kowey'​s car.
 +
 +==== TURTLE CRAZY ====
 +
 +I've got a little brother his christian name is Sid,
 +Ever since he saw the turtles he's flipped his lid.
 +He's always scoffing pizzas just like Leonardo,
 +Donatello Raphael and Michaelangelo
 +
 +Turtles, Turtles...
 +
 +He loves the Teenage Turtles he's collecting all their stuff,
 +T-shirts, books and badges he can never get enough.
 +Spending every penny on all that he can find
 +If it has a turtle on, he's going out of his mind....
 +
 +Turtle crazy, he's turtle mad,
 +The turtles they have taken away the little bit sense he had,
 +In a turtle outfit you really have to laugh,
 +He wears it every night and day and even in the bath.
 +
 +He's acting like a madman, he's acting like a clown,
 +The Teenage Mutant Turtles are coming to our town.
 +He bought a plastic Turtle to keep up with the trend,
 +He dropped it down the toilet now he's going round the bend....
 +
 +Tutles on his dressing gown and on the bedroom wall,
 +Turtles on his vest and his underpants and all....
 +
 +Turtle crazy, he's turtle mad,
 +The turtles they have taken away the little bit sense he had,
 +In a turtle outfit you really have to laugh,
 +He wears it every night and day and even in the bath.
 +
 +Turtle crazy, he's Turtle mad,
 +The turtles they have taken away the little bit sense he had.
 +In a turtle outfit you really have to laugh,
 +He wears it every night and day and even in the bath....
 +
 +==== UP THE GARDEN PATH ====
 +
 +All our mates that we once knew said they were happy,
 +Always shouting in the street, just like you and me,
 +Always finding laughter, fun and games to play,
 +They of course have to agree,
 +Suddenly they were swept off their feet and gone,
 +They don't know what hit them,
 +Just like the rest, the girlfriends got the best,
 +And so the story just goes on...
 +
 +They all get washed for them, even have a bath,
 +But they are now being led, up the garden path...
 +
 +I was sitting in the sun reading the days press,
 +A boy that I once knew was in, I've never seen such a mess
 +Smiling with a moustache, a suit, a shirt and tie,
 +He had just been wed today,
 +I could not help but laugh, what's got into him?
 +He looks about fourty,
 +He's been such a nit, now he's in for it,
 +And soon you'll hear him say...
 +
 +They all get washed for them, even have a bath,
 +But they are now being led, up the garden path...
 +
 +I was lying on the beach licking cool ice cream,
 +A man, a wife and a pram went by, it was like a dream,
 +He was climbing apple trees just a moon ago,
 +The kind of bloke you think, won't grow,
 +His face is like a fiddle now, long and sad and blue,
 +He still says he's happy,
 +He must have gone mad, cos he's not the lad,
 +That I once used to know...
 +
 +They all get washed for them, even have a bath,
 +But they are now being led, up the garden path...
 +
 +==== WE'RE MAD ====
 +
 +Insanity is everywhere,
 +it's a pity it's everywhere we go... we're mad John,
 +sirens are wailing everywhere,
 +wars underway...
 +
 +Down comes a bomb from the sky to the ground,
 +the score'​s two one it's the enemy'​s round,
 +but we'll all be dead coz the whole world'​s gone...
 +HELLBOUND!
 +
 +We're Mad... ca ca ca crazee,
 +We're Mad... la la la looneys too,
 +We're Mad... ca ca ca crazee,
 +Ca ca ca crazee now... Lookout!
 +
 +Ten thousand soldiers everywhere,
 +guns on their shoulders everywhere they go... they'​re mad John!
 +always a battle everywhere,
 +madness again Hey!
 +
 +The wives back home looking after baby,
 +cry when they see that on the T.V.
 +their love's been shot, but tonight they made,
 +HISTORY...
 +
 +We're Mad... ca ca ca crazee,
 +We're Mad... la la la looneys too,
 +We're Mad... ca ca ca crazee,
 +Ca ca ca crazee now... Lookout!
 +
 +Down comes a bomb from the sky to the ground,
 +the score'​s two one it's the enemy'​s round,
 +but we'll all be dead coz the whole world'​s gone...
 +HELLBOUND!
 +
 +We're Mad... ca ca ca crazee,
 +We're Mad... la la la looneys too,
 +We're Mad... ca ca ca crazee,
 +Ca ca ca crazee now... Lookout!
 +
 +We are mad it's clear again, that it will always be the same,
 +it's a fact but really is a shame, that we're Mad Mad Mad Mad
 +Mad Mad Mad Mad.............
 +
 +==== WE QUIT THE CAVALRY ====
 +
 +We fight fot the Queen & country & we're back here again
 +Over the hills to the battlefield 10 thousand marching men
 +We never say surrender butnow we must admit
 +Shove the rotten regement we're off on a moonlight flit
 +
 +Ho tally ho! the battle cry oh! we're off down the pub
 +Ho tally ho! a pint & decent grub.
 +
 +Down in the valley we can see
 +The men marching for victory
 +We'll skip the blood on the battlefield
 +Stuuf all the bravery... coz we quit the cavalry.
 +
 +We're shot injured & wounded, they call us men of war
 +It's too noisy & dirty & we can't take no more
 +No bath or battlefield shower & people say we're brave
 +But now we're gonna do a bunk for a decent wash n' shave
 +
 +HO TALLY HO!....
 +Down in the valley we can see
 +The men marching for victory
 +We'll skip the blood on the battlefield
 +Stuuf all the bravery... coz we quit the cavalry.
 +
 +Shoot don't shoot This is not the life for me
 +Shoot don't shoot It's not my cup o' tea.
 +
 +HO TALLY HO!....
 +Down in the valley we can see
 +The men marching for victory
 +We'll skip the blood on the battlefield
 +Stuuf all the bravery... coz we quit the cavalry.
 +
 +==== WORSE THINGS HAPPEN AT SEA ====
 +
 +It's not the first time somebody has ahd the flu,
 +Remember when you had toothache...
 +A hot lemsip will help the sneezing so,
 +You will have to stay happy...
 +
 +Remember...
 +Worse things happen at sea,
 +Keep dreaming of better days... (x2)
 +
 +I know it's crap when there'​s something in your eye,
 +Think yourself lucky you've not got a bad back,
 +It's pretty sore when you have a mouth ulcer,
 +But you have got to stay happy...
 +
 +Remember...
 +Worse things happen at sea,
 +Keep dreaming of better days... (x2)
 +
 +I know it's sad when your face is acne,
 +But don't be put off by some yellow spots,
 +So you got a toe nailthat his growing in,
 +You have got to stay happy...
 +
 +==== YELLOW BURT ====
 +
 +Yellow burt, the softest copper round 'ere
 +Yellow burt, a coward, a whimp, that's clear
 +Are your p.c. friends on the beat again
 +That is very sad, makes me feel so bad
 +Knock his helmet off, kick n' slap the puff
 +He's a yellow belly
 +Burt's a bleedin'​ softy...
 +(x2)
 +
 +==== YOU AND A BOX OF HANDKERCHIEFS ====
 +
 +Oh I never sneeze when you're around,
 +and you never think I have a cold,
 +but when I'm all alone I I Ityshoo I need,
 +you and a box of handkerchiefs...
 +
 +My nose never runs when you're around,
 +and you never think I have the flu,
 +but when I really do I I Ityshoo I need,
 +you and a box of handkerchiefs...
 +
 +I catch a cold easy
 +when I'm feeling sneezy,
 +what I really need's a box of handkerchiefs to please me
 +It's you I need, you and a box of handkerchiefs...
 +
 +Everytime I go out I get the flu,
 +I'm okay one minute then I start sneezing again,
 +I sneeze here I sneeze there I'm always sneezing everywhere...
 +
 +Oh I never sniff when you're around,
 +and you never think I'm really ill,
 +oh but I tell you still I I Ityshoo I need,
 +you and a box of handkerchiefs.
 +
 +==== YOU WON'T BE MERRY ON A NORTH SEA FERRY ====
 +
 +An ad on the tele put a lump in my belly
 +sail with the North Sea Sail with the North Sea ferries
 +you'll laugh all the way with so little to pay
 +sail with the North Sea Sail with the North Sea boys.
 +
 +The food will choke you, the staff provoke you
 +the captain doesn'​t care noooo (x2)
 +
 +Ahoy! sailings everyday, Ahoy it's the only way
 +I feel sick I feel sick,
 +North Sea ferrie'​s done the trick
 +Ahoy beat the traffic jam, Ahoy Hull to Roterdam
 +I feel sick & my cabin'​s freezin'​ cold
 +ooh I booked North Sea Ferries
 +What a silly boy
 +you won't be merry on a North Sea Ferry
 +Ahoy! Ahoy! Ahoy!
 +
 +Get across the sea & so cheaply
 +sail with the North Sea Sail with the North Sea ferries
 +so book a trip on a North Sea Ferry ship
 +sail with the North Sea Sail with the North Sea boys.
 +
 +The food will choke you, the staff provoke you...
 +
 +Ahoy! sailings everyday, Ahoy it's the only way
 +I feel sick I feel sick,
 +North Sea ferrie'​s done the trick
 +Ahoy beat the traffic jam, Ahoy Hull to Roterdam
 +I feel sick & my cabin'​s freezin'​ cold
 +ooh I booked North Sea Ferries
 +What a silly boy
 +you won't be merry on a North Sea Ferry
 +Ahoy! Ahoy! Ahoy!
 +
 +==== I'M GONNA BE 500 MILES ====
 +
 +When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be
 +I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
 +When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be
 +I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
 +
 +If I get drunk yes I know I'm gonna be
 +I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
 +And if I haver yeah I know I'm gonna be
 +I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you
 +
 +But I would walk 500 miles
 +And I would walk 500 more
 +Just to be the man who walked 1,000 miles
 +To fall down at your door
 +
 +When I'm working yes I know I'm gonna be
 +I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
 +When I come home yeah I know I'm gonna be
 +I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
 +
 +But I would walk 500 miles
 +And I would walk 500 more
 +Just to be the man who walked 1,000 miles
 +To fall down at your door
 +
 +When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be
 +I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you
 +When I'm dreaming yes I know I'm gonna dream
 +Dream about the time when I'm with you
 +
 +When I go out, yes I know I'm gonna be
 +I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
 +And when I come home yeah I know I'm gonna be
 +I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
 +
 +But I would walk 500 miles
 +And I would walk 500 more
 +Just to be the man who walked 1,000 miles
 +To fall down at your door
 +
 +==== BACHELOR BOY / WHEN GARRY MARRIED MELANIE ====
 +
 +When I was young my father said "Son I have something to say,"
 +and what he told me I’ll never forget, until my dying day. He said, "Son you are 
 +a bachelor boy
 +and that’s the way to stay, son you are a bachelor boy…"​
 +-huh- I wish I was a bloody bachelor boy
 +A happy ba-che-lor was he,
 +But he ain’t no more gone is Garry
 +As he ditched, when he got hitched to a witch and a bitch called melanie
 +Who’s that then – Garry
 +Slouched on the couch with that cow,
 +There ain’t any doubt there’s no escape
 +Now off his head, concerted
 +Instead he wed, Melanie
 +
 +He said, "I only wanted to stay"
 +But the silly sucker, drained his life away
 +"I only wanted to be"
 +and he took no notice of me
 +and it’s all over now –huh- for Garry
 +
 +The bag nagged/​asked to have a kid
 +The most * that Garry ever did
 +Stuck in a rut, he knows he’s a nut, with a pain in th butt called Melanie
 +
 +He said, "I only wanted to stay"
 +But the silly sucker, drained his life away
 +"I only wanted to be"
 +and he took no notice of me
 +and it’s all over now –huh- for Garry
 +
 +Off his head, off his *
 +Garry was a sucker when he married Melanie
 +
 +He said, "I only wanted to stay"
 +But the silly sucker, drained his life away
 +"I only wanted to be"
 +and he took no notice of me
 +and it’s all over now –huh- for Garry
 +
 +==== BORED HOUSEWIFE ====
 +
 +He tells me, we’re happy, he could never guess
 +While he’s at work, she’s an adulteress
 +
 +She’s a bored, bored housewife – in the cul-de-sac
 +" " " - she’s a nymphomaniac
 +" " " - a filthy (? Sex factory ?)
 +
 +It don’t hurt, to have a (? Flirt ?)
 +But she’s a (? jezebugger ?)
 +She’s a randy swine who swears
 +"I don’t have clandestine affairs"​ I’m bored, bored, bored, bored, bored!
 +He’s a pratt, we know that – his missus
 +
 +She’s a bored, bored housewife – in the cul-de-sac
 +" " " - she’s a nymphomaniac
 +" " " - a filthy (? Sex factory ?)
 +
 +==== THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO SCUNTHORPE ====
 +
 +The devil went down to Scunthorpe, looking for a soul to steal
 +In a bind an' way behind he was willin'​ to make a deal.
 +He came across this young man pickin'​ on a guitar, playing it hot an'
 +An' the devil jumped on a hickory stump an' said '​I'​ll tell ya what'
 +I guess you didn't know it, I'm a guitar player too,
 +and if you care to take a dare I make a bet with you.
 +Now you play a real good guitar boy, but give the devil his due,
 +I'll bet a guitar of gold against you soul 'cause i think i'm better then you.
 +
 +The boy said my name's Johnny, it might be a sin, i'll take your bet
 +You're gonna regret, I'm the best I've ever been.
 +
 +Johnny rosen up your pick an' play your guitar hard
 +'cause hell's broke loose in scunthorpe an' the devil deals the cards.
 +Now if you win you'll get this shinny guitar made of gold,
 +but if you loose the devil gets your soul!
 +
 +The devil opened up his case and said '​i'​ll start this gig'
 +and fire flew from his finger tips as he rosened up his pick.
 +He strummed the pick across the strings it made an evil hiss
 +Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded somthing like this
 +
 +When the devil finished Johnny said '​You'​re pretty good ol' son,
 +but sit down in that chair right there let me show you how it's done!'
 +
 +Fire on the mountain run boy's run!
 +Devil'​s in the house of the risen sun!
 +Chicken in the bread pan picken out dough!
 +Granny does your dog bite, no child, no!
 +
 +The devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat,
 +and he laid that golden gitar on the ground at Johnny'​s feet.
 +Johnny said 'devil just come on back if you ever want to try again,
 +I done told you once you son of a bitch i'm the best I've ever been!'
 +
 +Fire on the mountain run boy's run!
 +Devil'​s in the house of the risen sun!
 +Chicken in the bread pan picken out dough!
 +Granny does your dog bite, no child, no!
 +
 +==== FRED OLIVIER ====
 +
 +Don’t want to be Sylvester Stallone – don’t push me
 +Nev-ever gonna star in "Home Alone"
 +Hamlet, MacBeth, I’m crazy for King Lear
 +There’s nothing more exciting than reciting Shakespeare
 +
 +Fred Olivier, to be or not to be
 +Fred Olivier, all for my equity
 +
 +Don’t want to go to Hollywood
 +I sit alone and play the wood
 +I quoth Othello and I feel wick
 +I’m the only one who understands what I speak
 +
 +Fred Olivier, to be or not to be
 +Fred Olivier, all for my equity
 +
 +I tread the boards till it make me scream
 +But it was only a Midsummer Nights Dream,
 +There’s more to life than a Shakespearean clone
 +All I want is fame and fortune
 +
 +Fred Olivier, to be or not to be
 +Fred Olivier, all for my equity
 +
 +==== GRIEFSVILLE ====
 +
 +Here we go again, down to Griefsville,​ yah
 +I'm sneezing, I'm wheezing, I'm freezing
 +I'm outside with no coat on
 +I turned the lights on, where she'd been
 +She's with him, she'll kiss him, now it's grim
 +Again for me I'll, In the meanwhile
 +Just cry my blues away
 +
 +I go down, down, down, down,
 +To Griefsville
 +
 +Oh sitting on the windowsill
 +I got sick, I got ill
 +I've got no more time to kill
 +cause I am in Griefsville
 +
 +Oh, I am red, got a bad head
 +cause she said, she can't see me
 +I'm upset, cause I can't get what I want
 +why should she, how could she
 +not see me, today I'm gloomy
 +She's threw me, out and I'm blue again
 +
 +I go down, down, down, down,
 +To Griefsville
 +Gaahhh, I'm blue, Gaahhh, what can I do
 +Gaahhhhh, alright!
 +I go down, down, down, down,
 +To Griefsville
 +
 +==== I'M A LONELY BASTARD ====
 +
 +Nobody loves me, nobody cares
 +Nobody invites me to the party – we don’t want him there
 +Introverted,​ we stay
 +Sittin all alone his night is so sad – he ain’t got no mates
 +
 +Don’t say a word, don’t say a word, don’t say a word to me
 +My oh my, I just don’t know why,
 +Tell me why, oh why I’m a lonesome guy
 +Down they point everyone stares
 +I’m a lonely bastard there’s
 +Nowt more, nowt more lonely than me (x2)
 +
 +Nobody calls me nobody phones
 +Nobody ever sends a postcard to me – I’m always alone
 +
 +Don’t say a word, don’t say a word, don’t say a word to me
 +My oh my, I just don’t know why,
 +Tell me why, oh why I’m a lonesome guy
 +Down they point everyone stares
 +I’m a lonely bastard there’s
 +Nowt more, nowt more lonely than me
 +He’s a lonely bastard
 +
 +Don’t say a word, don’t say a word, don’t say a word to me
 +My oh my, I just don’t know why,
 +Tell me why, oh why I’m a lonesome guy
 +Down they point everyone stares
 +I’m a lonely bastard there’s
 +Nowt more, nowt more lonely than me
 +
 +==== THE MEMORY OF NOBBY ====
 +
 +Makes me grin makes me laugh too
 +makes me sad makes me blue
 +when I remember Nobby who,
 +danced a gig for me and you
 +to see the smiles of Nobby'​s styles
 +*
 +I weren'​t no football fan till he
 +Dove Ken Driddley, on TV
 +Mesmerized by the mastery of wee nimble Nobby
 +just a dream it all seemed so far away
 +the world took heed, and Nobby'​s team would pay
 +
 +Nobby, in our memory
 +hear them yell and hear them call
 +Nobby, in our memory
 +hear them shout and hear them roar
 +ooooooohh, the memory, of Nobby lives on
 +
 +we stayed home that day to see England vs Germany
 +always in the memory, the sucker styles of Nobby
 +to feel the thrills from his stills, was uncanny
 +Nobby still, sends a chill through me
 +
 +Nobby, in our memory
 +hear them yell and hear them call
 +Nobby, in our memory
 +hear them shout and hear them roar
 +ooooooohh, the memory, of Nobby lives on
 +
 +==== OLGA ... I CANNOT ====
 +
 +I think I'll ring Kendra.
 +(ring, ring) Hello, It's Olga. Can I speak to Kendra please?
 +Just hold on a minute pet. Kendra? Olga's on the phone.
 +Do you want to speak to him?
 +Ahhh...I cannot!
 +
 +I first saw Kendra at a pub called the Ramside Hall, in Durham
 +so sweet and tender but she didn't even see me at all, no
 +She looked so nice, she smelled so fine, oh how I wished that Kendra was mine
 +five foot one, and eyes that were blue, a smile that made me melt oh what could 
 +i do?
 +I had to get Kendra'​s telephone number really quick, yes.
 +If I came srtaight to the point it would do the trick, yes.
 +I asked her if she'd like to go out with me,
 +She said that she was flattered but I just couldn'​t see why she said...
 +
 +Ahhh, Olga... I cannot
 +
 +My boyfriend'​s sitting on the seaty
 +he does not want, you to see me, so
 +Olga... I cannot.
 +
 +I was really de-pressed what could I do, I was blue
 +I'll ring her up again, in a day or two... On Monday
 +Her boyfriend wasn't there, so I felt lucky
 +hows about now, baby, come out with me and she said...
 +
 +Ahhh, Olga... I cannot
 +I would if I could but I don't think I should
 +I can't, well I can, but I shan'​t,​ It's not good man
 +Olga... I cannot
 +
 +I'm sorry that I ever ran,
 +She said, "​Don'​t be dafted, ahh Olga man"
 +I want to see you don't get me wrong
 +I'll contact you soon, It won't be long....
 +but at the moment... I cannot
 +
 +I called Kendra another 50 times on the phone... yes
 +she agreed to meet me but I should have known... yes
 +I wound the window down, in the Rolls Royce
 +I said "jump in the back" and then I heard a voice
 +start to say... start to saayyy... start to saaayyyyyy
 +
 +Ahhh, Olga... I cannot
 +
 +I'm going to Laurette, for my holiday in Spain
 +but when I get back, I still cannot begin, so
 +
 +Ahhh, Olga... I cannot
 +I talked it over with me mum and me dad
 +but even me sister and the dog thinks you're mad
 +so Olga... Olga.... Ah, Olga... I cannot
 +
 +
 +==== ONE MORE MEGABYTE ====
 +
 +One more, one more, one more, one more…
 +* megabyte maniac
 +fiddle with the mouse like a junky
 +*
 +I need me-me-memory
 +He’s a brat, he’s a boor, with a word processor
 +Don’t disturb on the door – no entry
 +My, my what we got *
 +(?In a gown?) * can I fill up your ram
 +*
 +gimme gimme gimme one more (x2)
 +I need another megabyte to save my sanity – one more!
 +
 +Where’s he at, where’s he gone, turnin that computer on
 +In his room (? On the floor ?) beep beep beep
 +Yeah man, he’s gone, always *
 +Can’t take no more had enough I’ve had it all
 +*
 +* sh-sh-shake it
 +
 +gimme gimme gimme one more (x2)
 +I need another megabyte to save my sanity – one more!
 +
 +
 +==== SHE'S A LEECH ====
 +
 +She looks so grand a one night stand maybe
 +I took my chance I said "​let’s dance baby"
 +How was he to know, she would never let him go
 +But * and entranced we were
 +And stuck together I could never leave her
 +If he only knew, he’d fallen for a tube of super glue
 +
 +She’s a leech - she’s my shadow, she won’t let go – ooooh
 +She’s a leech – she’s unfriendly, he’s not that great – stuck on mE
 +
 +Life’s been hell since she got welded to me
 +I go nowhere unless she’s there, oowee
 +Can’t escape the wife, she's connected at the side
 +
 +She’s a leech - she’s my shadow, she won’t let go – ooooh
 +She’s a leech – she’s unfriendly, he’s not that great – stuck on mE
 +she sucked me dry
 +
 +Twas fortunate when my best mate wooed her
 +He’s a blockhead he’s been bonded to her
 +With his * now she’s stuck on him instead…
 +
 +She’s a leech - she’s my shadow, she won’t let go – ooooh
 +She’s a leech – she’s unfriendly, he’s not that great – stuck on me
 +
 +
 +==== SHE'LL BE BACK WITH KEITH SOMEDAY ====
 +
 +I can’t stop moping – I can’t stop crying
 +I just ain’t coping – don’t feel like trying
 +"​Don’t ditch me," I cry, but this is her reply
 +She said "I must, (?get on the bus ?) goodbye…"​
 +
 +Some days, she said they’re through, I always knew she’d leave again
 +Some days, she lied through her teeth, she’ll be back with Keith some day
 +
 +My heart is broken – jilted she blew me out
 +A moog once again, I feel dumb there’s no dafter
 +
 +Some days, she said they’re through, I always knew she’d leave again
 +Some days, she lied through her teeth, she’ll be back with Keith some day
 +She’s gone I’m alone, I must be off my head
 +Guess I should have known, she’d be with Keith instead
 +Drop Dead!
 +
 +Some days, she said they’re through, I always knew she’d leave again
 +Some days, she lied through her teeth, she’ll be back with Keith some day
 +
 +
 +==== IN TOMMY'​S HEAD ====
 +"I’m so glad" he tells me and you, "​It’s so sad" we know it ain’t true…
 +Oooh, in Tommy’s head
 +He told me, "I’m head over heels,"​ a phoney
 +We know what he feels, but Tommy thought he knew…
 +
 +In Tommy’s head, he can’t believe
 +" " " she had to leave
 +" " " he’ll always yearn
 +" " " she will return
 +
 +" I don’t mind" at peace now he thinks
 +We ain’t blind – we know what he feels – what he always dreams
 +
 +In Tommy’s head, he can’t believe
 +" " " she had to leave
 +" " " he’ll always yearn
 +" " " she will return
 +
 +…and he just can’t hide, that feeling inside Tommy
 +
 +In Tommy’s head, he can’t believe
 +" " " she had to leave
 +" " " he’ll always yearn
 +" " " she will return
paroles/toysdolls.txt · Dernière modification: 2014/04/30 15:51 (modification externe)